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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Male infertility

5 replies

Skye0728 · 13/08/2019 20:13

I feel like my life has been turned upside down. My husband was diagnosed with zero sperm count and I am devastated that we can’t have a child together. It’s been a long tough journey and with a year down the line with numerous tests and ops we are left in the position of using donor sperm, adoption with the added factor I have a low egg count. I feel like I’ve been down a deep hole and given up hope of what to do next. I feel I hold some resentment towards my husband because he was a heavy weed smoker and I almost called off our wedding because I wanted him to stop, but I loved him so I never. I now always wonder if this contributed to his no sperm. He has also become lazy and very overweight making me feel unattracted to him. I feel bad that I feel like this and I try and tell myself it’s because of what we have been through but it’s hard to feel happy when I am around him because of this and the way he looks. I’m scared that I will lose out on the chance of becoming a mum if we don’t go down the donor route. I’m also scared I end up terribly unhappy and this resentment never goes away or I never find him attractive again. I do love him but I don’t know if I’m in love. It’s horrible to feel like this. I don’t want to make a terrible mistake and leave my marriage. I also have pressure on me from the people I have confided in to hurry up and make a decision because I am not getting any younger. I am 33. Please let me know your thoughts.

OP posts:
itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 14/08/2019 07:36

Have the doctors not advised him to change his lifestyle and diet and take more supplements to see if they can improve things? Also what about surgical sperm retrieval? All options before you need to make a decision about using a donor

Loopytiles · 14/08/2019 07:41

You can’t know whether his lifestyle choices contributed to his fertility problem, so would seek to set that aside.

It sounds like you have some big relationship problems. Important to decide whether to stay in the relationship, and - if you want to stay - what to do about the problems.

Before taking decisions about your options for having DC.

One option would be to end the relationship and go it alone with donor sperm.

TalbotAMan · 14/08/2019 07:50

A zero sperm count plus 'fat and lazy' suggests his testicles aren't working properly. You need, as a first step, to get his doctors to find out why. Sometimes the testicles can be restarted and sometimes they can't, depending on the cause. Also, as itwasalovelydream said, even where there is no sperm in a man's semen, there may be some in his testicles which can be surgically retrieved for IVF. Also, they have had some success making sperm from skin stem cells, but I don't think they have got far enough for it to be used in treatment yet.

As far as I can tell from a quick google, weed makes sperm weaker but doesn't stop their production altogether.

Honey1989 · 14/08/2019 21:33

Hi @Skye0728 my husband has been diagnosed with the same. Whilst waiting for surgery he took fertilix and amazing they found some sperm in the lower tubes. We can still never conceive naturally but we have some hope. Will be starting ICSI shortly. Did you husband have the surgery? X

AliceAbsolum · 15/08/2019 07:57

33! You're so young. Go and live a life you can enjoy and not regret x

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