FET nerves/feeling hopeless

[Eggcellent29]

My first donor egg FET is next week, following on from our MMC at our first scan (on my birthday of all days) from our fresh round

I just feel so down. I have absolutely no hope of this working. I just know it’s going to be a BFN and all of this will have been for nothing. I’m trying, but I just want it to be over as I don’t see any Outcome where it works

The frozen embryo we have was left because they said it wasn’t developing right, but suddenly developed well after day 3. They assured me it is good quality but they said that about the two I had put back from the fresh round, and look what happened!

My lining last time at the checking scan (not the real name for it) was 7.6mm, this time it was 10.6mm and they seemed pleased. Why is it so much more? I’ve given up all the usual things that I love (drinking, eating nice foods, caffeine, etc) as last time but I haven’t shifted the weight from my first pregnancy (about 5 pounds) despite dieting like crazy for months.

I just feel like nothing I do has any impact on the outcomes. I can do everything ‘right’ and still lose. I just have no hope.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you cope? Im not even sure if this is how I really feel, or if the meds are just heightening how I feel and blowing it out of proportion.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I had my 7 week scan at the clinic last week and found out the pregnancy had failed at an early stage. That was only NHS embryo so now have to get the money together for a private round. I'm also worried as we only got one poor quality embryo so worry that's the next round will be all for nothing.
But I know it's a process that we have to through and there's hope the next round might be better. I think the hardest part about ivf is that there's no guarantees.

I'm also trying to eat better as I get prepared for another cycle. But I'm still going to allow myself the odd treat otherwise it's making it even more miserable for ourselves! I know you said you feel like what you're doing has no impact but I'm sure the changes will have a positive effect, it just might not be clear.

I keep thinking I need to plan more nice things to do so that our lives don't just revolve around IVF but it's easier said than done.

I hope your transfer goes/ has gone well this week. Good luck! X

I feel the same. I've just started progynova for my third cycle (FET). Others have been fresh, both BFN.

Feel a bit overwhelmed even though I've been through the ordeal of ER and the cycle being put on hold for 3 months see if I had an endometrioma (thankfully I didn't!).

Still, we're in the unexplained camp and something simply isn't working for us which is so frustrating.

Honestly, I just don't believe this is going to work, I've checked out of it one minute but then feel crazy and extreme sadness the next.

Sorry to read about your MC @Eggcellent29 Have you tried OE at all or did you go straight to donor? Not sure I can put myself through anymore IVF, it's making me so miserable. I'm not sure what I'm even doing it for anymore or if it's worth the prize at the end.

Wishing you a positive day

xxx

@BeaCat

Thank you so much for your kind reply ❤️

I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. Nothing on earth can ever prepare you for something so awful. The day of our scan when we were told our baby had died still haunts me. If you ever want someone to talk to, please just let me know. It took weeks for me to get through a day without crying, so I understand how hard it is ❤️

I don’t know the details of your journey, but if you ever consider donor eggs and want to bounce thoughts off someone then I’m your girl, haha :)

@FingersXssd83 I am so sorry, I didn’t see your post! I think we were almost posting at the same time! 🙈

It sounds like you’ve been having a really tough time. Delays are just the worst - we had a couple with our fresh round which put it back by months, I was distraught so I do understand how difficult it is.

I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be to not have any explanation!

Progynova has always made my moods go haywire. I think it’s like when you’re drunk - everything is exaggerated and you just can’t think rationally. People don’t always understand and it’s very isolating.

We went straight to donor eggs. My AMH is 2.6, which is very low for my age. We took multiple opinions and they were totally different - some doctors wanted us to try naturally for another year, one wanted ivf, one wanted clomid and another said donor eggs. Another said that there was nothing wrong with me and the contraceptive I’ve been using for 10 years just hadn’t cleared my system (it was only 6 months after).

It was a total head fuck. So we decided to go straight to donor. For us, the first cell that our child comes from isn’t important so we pretty much decided it on the spot. There were no big debates or tears. But that is just us, I think we may be the exception rather than the rule from what I’ve heard from others.

But a big factor for me was I didn’t want to have multiple failed OE cycles and all the fall out that comes with it. Sadly we have had to repeat due to a miscarriage, but I think we were just unlucky.

Have your clinic not given you any idea at all or suggested next steps?

Xx