Hi Unicorn9. My heart goes out to you. Ivf can be heartbreaking but I will share some hopefully constructive thoughts below. I did manage to conceive and have a baby. I am so grateful and I hope you get the best outcome too.
Firstly I think with your final embryo I would recommend a second opinion or at least a change to your protocol with perhaps some additional testing if appropriate. If you can afford it I went to see Geoffrey Trew. He never over sold treatments and treated me respectfully when we discussed how to deal with my implantation failure. For example he didn’t recommend an ERA as at the time the research was casting doubt on its reliability. We also discussed immune protocols objectively and all my extra testing was proportionate. I felt listened to and respected.
In terms of reading - It starts with the Egg is the one book I recommend. Backed by science and I focussed on getting the right supplement mix.
There is a recurrent miscarriage clinic that my doctor thought highly of run by Prof Quenby. I researched into her and planned to go if a further cycle failed. Here is a link: www.uhcw.nhs.uk/our-services-and-people/our-people/ms-siobhan-quenby/
With euploid embryos the issue can be the mitochondria (I think of them as little motors) or implantation issues so it is worth exploring both things.
With my doctor (Geoffrey Trew) we discussed some of the challenges in introducing immune testing when it is still such new science and the results can be difficult to interpret. His solution was with my next cycle we would try a lighter touch immune protocol. One of Mr Trew’s ex colleagues from the Hammersmith hospital returned to Australia and created a protocol which does this and which we had planned to follow in the next cycle. Here are details: drgavinsacks.com.au/services/the-bondi-protocol/
Finally, these are the resources I used to keep positive: the Big Fat Negative podcast. It made me feel I wasn’t alone and really helped. I would also check out the support packages from Alice Rose. I spent about £10 on her meditations. I think she is a pioneer in the area of supporting people through ivf. Lots to read if you don’t want to spend any more money: www.thisisalicerose.com/
Lastly, if you ever need anything more, please do feel free to message me directly.
I hope your next transfer will be a very different experience