Years of infertility..MC, IVF cancelled & IUI failed! Can anyone offer support please!

[Scottish80]

Hi

As above..6 yrs TTC - fun at first and then military operation onwards. Fertility investigations were unexplained. Pregnancy for 11 wks, day of scan had a MC. 6 mths later referred for IVF and finally started injections for them to cancel IVF altogether as not producing viable eggs. Last shot was IUI and today was testing day. Faint line first thing using FRER and period started this afternoon...absolutely devastated and drained with it all 😔 feel like I have no hope left and partner doesn’t know what to say.
I’m thinking I’m heading for a breakdown..no one to talk to and tried to make appointment at the docs but have to get past all the gossipy receptionists as they have to triage you to make the appt valid.
Any help please? Or has anyone tried / recommend private counselling?

Sorry for being the Debbie downer..totally lost.

Thanks for reading xox

I just wanted to say , hang in there , you never know what life has planned for you , stay positive and keep going xx

You don’t have to be positive. You don’t have to keep going. You don’t have to feel fine.

It’s so hard. Have you had ivf in this country? Your clinic might be able to put you in contact with a counsellor. That would avoid the gp issue.

Yes. Your clinic should have a counsellor. I’m so sorry x

You're not alone @Scottish80. I have unexplained infertility after ttc for 6 years. First round of IVF ended in mmc at 6 weeks and I'm now on my second round with a very faint line at 11dp5dt. I should be excited but the stress of it all and the terror at waiting for a miscarriage means I am now peeing on a stick 5 times a day.
What has got me through this second cycle is therapy. My cousin recommended I try a clinical hypnotherapist when I was having a breakdown in December. She used one during her cancer treatment and found it very useful. I firmly believe that's helped me survive. We don't always do the hypno part but when we have, I get a clarity and peace that keeps me going. My husband has been amazing but now that I have someone to talk to that I can be truly honest with about how I feel, I don't feel I am relentless putting my sadness and stress on him.
I also started to re-evaluate my end goal. While I desperately want a baby I also want my husband and I to have a family so I now look at ivf as one route on my journey and know that if it doesn't work then my route changes but the journey doesn't end. That realisation has been huge in getting me through. I work with looked after children and would adopt knowing the love we can give to them and them to us but I know that's not for everyone.
Other than give you a big hug if there is anything else I could do for you it would be to get you a therapist. There's no shame in it and it has really helped me.

When I want an urgent appointment (we have receptionist here I suspect gossips) I just lie or at least don't tell the exact story. I have a problem I cannot afford"getting out" where I live. You don't have to tell then exactly why you need to see the doctor urgently. Just get the appointment and then tell the doctor the exact truth: you're in a crisis and need support. Any good doctor will then help you. Good luck

So sorry you are in this situation. Is your fertility treatment private or NHS? There are some good fertility counsellors available if you look online via bacp or the miscarriage association. I am part way down this road and already feel like I'm starting to lose it so I think your feelings are completely normal for this traumatic time

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I've been there and I know your pain. I would highly recommend you speak to a councillor recommended by the clinic

Good luck and my fingers are crossed for you xx