Seeking advice after 4 rounds of IUI

[IUIKirst]

Hi ladies, I'm reaching out for some sisterhood as I'm moving into my fifth cycle of IUI and feeling a little unsettled. The first cycle worked briefly but then didn't stick, then I was diagnosed with a polyp which needed removing and the most recent 3 cycles haven't worked - my period was 4 days late this time which inevitably got my hopes up but I started bleeding today so guess it was either just the meds delaying the cycle or a very brief conception which didn't hold. I'm psychologically worn out, the last cycle was physically tough as the pessaries esp seem to make me tired and crampy, and I'm starting to wonder whether I should be continuing the IUI journey or start looking into alternatives like IVF or even surrogacy. They're so expensive it freaks me out to even think about it. I'd love to hear from any of you who are on a long IUI journey and how you've kept your motivation up and navigated your decision making along the way

I think the usual thinking is that if IUI is going to work, it will probably do so in the first few cycles (although I can absolutely see why having miscarried might be a confusing factor in trying to decide whether to move on or not).

I've not had IUI but have flipped back and forth between cycles of IVF and lots of home insemination so I guess there's a parallel there. As I remember, doing the maths, IVF tends to come out at about the cost of 3 IUIs, and tends also to have a comparably larger success rate. So, one way to look at it might be that as you're having lots of IUIs, you're spendng that money anyway. The other thing is, IVF opens up some more information, because the lab can see how many eggs fertilise and how well the embryos develop (whereas with IUI everything is happening inside your body so there are fewer clues as to why it's not succeeding).

Would it be rude to ask how old you are? That would have an impact, too, in terms of what it makes sense to do next.

I'm sorry you're on such a long road. Look after yourself. Would it be worth maybe having a spot of counselling through your clinic, to help you think things through?