Husband moaning about appointment

[Rspu3]

Hi ladies been referred to hospital for More tests I’m assuming hoping to eventually lead to ivf. My tests so far have come back normal my husbands not so good.
We have had a few appointments cancelled by the hospital and it really frustrated and upset me as it’s toom us now nearly a year just to be referred.
Got a cancellation yesterday for a hospital appointment for next week, I was happy as otherwise we would be waiting till end of June. My husband has moaned about it as getting time off work will be harder now as he’s had a few days off, this is really pissing me off, I thought we were on the same page and I don’t want to cancel any appointments. I did tell him last year we were not going away this year to save our holidays for appointments, he then booked a 2 week holiday for us I was angry then came round and do understand we can’t put our lives on hold. I think he is scared and likes to sweep it under the carpet hoping it will happen naturally, we’ve been ttc for over 5 years so I just want to now get on with looking into our options. It took me 3 years to persuade him to go for tests. Am I right to be annoyed? I was so happy we got an earlier appointment and he just isn’t.

Sorry to hear it’s taken so long for you. You are right to be annoyed but I reckon he is just frustrated and maybe feeling a bit low knowing that his tests were the ones that weren’t quite right, and is maybe more worried what more tests might say for him. Just sit him down and give him a good cuddle and say how much this means to you. Ask enjoy your holiday, try and relax and have a good time together.

Sounds like he’s nervous about the tests.

He needs to discuss this honestly with you and decide if he can cope with IVF. It will get harder, not easier, and he needs to be ready.

I think he is yes, I have spoke to him again and he said he’s just frustrated and worried it will get cancelled when we get there lol but so am I to be honest even though I have spoken to the hospital again and they have reassured me we have been accepted for the appointment and it won’t get cancelled.
Can I ask what to expect at this appointment? It’s our first appointment at the hospital in the gynaecology/infertility department

If I remember correctly, from 28 years ago. ( I know it will have changed!) but very little happened on our first appointment, they took medical history and family history. They made us seperate appointments for later in the month for Gynae checks and a sperm sample. They will want to know the ins and outs of your periods and they gave me a temperature chart but I think there are better ways to check if you are ovulating nowadays! Good luck with your journey and don't put your lives on hold, and it is easy for me to say but don't try too hard . I needed IVF for my first and got pregnant with my second whilst BF him so relaxing and letting things happen is your best friend.xx

If you have been ttc for 5 years then it is likely that either one or both of you are causing the subfertility.

My experience is similar to what WFT described bar the temperature chart. We were both referred for further tests to determine exactly what the fertility problem was. You need a diagnosis first and foremost and you will need to be persistent in order to get answers. He is probably scared as well that his poor test results somehow reflect badly on his own masculinity (it does not).

Both of you should fully understand the purpose of tests being done, its not always explained clearly. Do not be afraid to ask questions and write down anything you want to ask ahead of time. Initial appointments can be nerve wracking so both of you should attend this and give each other moral support.

You may also find contacting the charity called Fertility Network[http://fertilitynetworkuk.org/]] useful.

Do not indeed put your lives on hold; they would also encourage you to go on holiday.

This link works:-

fertilitynetworkuk.org/

Thankyou @AtillaTheMeerkat
We know it is likely our issue is my husband. He has very low count 2-3million and her motility is not good either. I have been pregnant with a previous partner but had a termination.
I haven’t had the test where they check my tubes yet though so I’m assuming the hospital might want to do that?
Just glad to finally taking some steps to hopefully sorting it out as is getting harder for me to cope with it now especially as I’m 29 next year and a lot of my friends and relative are now on 2-3 babies.
Thankyou for all your replies ladies much appreciated.