Early pregnancy after IVF & recurrent miscarriage

[Hobbes39]

Hi - I guess I'm looking for anyone on the same boat....
We have had our 4th fresh round of IVF, this will be our last as I'm 42 soon.
So I have unexplained secondary infertility - we have a naturally conceived DS age 5 and then spent the last 3.5 almost 4 years trying for a sibling.
I had a PUL about 8 months after we started trying then various investigations (all came back fine) and so we started IVF. 4 rounds later, as well as 3 FETs, I've had a chemical, and 2 MMC. It's been pretty heartbreaking.
I am now 5 weeks pregnant from our last round, which is brilliant, but I'm terrified it's all going to go wrong again.

Signs are good - my HCG at 11dp3dt was a good number (391) and while I had a small bleed the night before my beta, all has been well since AFAIK.

I'm due a scan to check all is well in 2 weeks. We have never had a positive 7 week scan - it's always looked dubious/ bad. This last week has felt like an eternity. I am completely unable to concentrate on anything & I'm scared that this last chance will slip away too.
Anyone else is a similar situation and want to keep me company? Thanks x

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

@Catren congratulations on your scan, that's wonderful!

@jenbot78 - I know what you mean about weekly scans. I am actually going to see how many scans the EPAC are willing to give (last time I miscarried they said that they would follow Lesley Regan's TLC protocol which includes frequent scanning) and if necessary supplement privately. I say we do what we need to to stay sane.

@hobbes39 she may well be able to hear the HB with doppler at that stage although some midwives won't try ... I don't blame you for wanting another scan. After recurrent loss the worry just never stops.

As for me, I am very grateful that today I saw a heartbeat - CRL measuring 6 weeks 3 days. Gestational sac and yolk sac look fine. I know there is a hell of a lot that can go wrong after this point, but today it appears I'm pregnant. Feeling increasingly queasy also - long may it continue.

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

@suchomimus - whispered congratulations. How are you feeling? As far as I know there's no risk of staying on the pred until 12 weeks. Was it peripheral NK cell / other immune testing you had, or endometrial biopsy? Or something else?

[suchomimus]

Thanks! It was immune testing. To be honest I can't remember exactly now, but my diagnosis was mild. I just feel that if it doesn't hurt, I might as well take it. I was getting to the stage I was about to give up ttc before this positive and this feels like my last shot.

[Catren]

Thanks bottomly!

Looks like we have a boy on board. Eek! If (and it's still very much an if) we get that far we'll have one of each, which would be nice 😊

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

@suchomimus - yes, probably no harm in keeping going with it. What dose are you on?

@catren - excellent news. We also had PGS but our clinic do not tell anyone the sex ... was yours a UK clinic?

My symptoms come and go and it's really freaking me out. Definitely feel less sick today and (sorry tmi) didn't gag taking my estrogen pill. However, I felt worse yesterday afternoon and evening than morning so maybe there's still time. I wish I could remember what it was like in previous pregnancies vs this one. As others have said, the scan reassures for a day but then anything can happen (and has, in the past, happened to me). I know that my odds are logically quite good because it's a PGS screened embryo BUT the internet is full of examples of people losing PGS normal embryos after seeing a heartbeat. Why I let myself go searching for such examples I do not know ...

[Catren]

They wouldn't tell us the sex after the pgs screening, after transfer or before the 7w scan, only after a 'viable' scan would they tell us. It's not a uk clinic, I'm in Australia and it's a private clinic here. Might have different rules?

[Catren]

So we don't know the sex of the embryos we lost after the first two transfers and we don't know for the remaining two frosties

[suchomimus]

@BottomleyPottsSpots2 - I'm on 25mgs. Which seems quite low compared to some. And the common cocktail of clexane, levothyroxine, aspirin and progesterone.

I hope everyone is doing ok. It's such an anxious time. I can't seem to think of much else.

[Hobbes39]

Hi everyone. Congratulations on your scan @Catren - and that's amazing you know the sex already! Fingers crossed for it all progressing nicely from now x
I had midwife appointment yesterday - 2 hours!! It was so slow. She wouldn't even try Doppler - especially as it's twins as she said it would even be hard with twins at 16w let alone 10.
She did however call the EPU and got us an appointment for tomorrow for a scan as they acknowledged that with my history that almost 6w between scans is a LONG time. I'm low feeling super nervous as feel worried symptoms have subsided - I'm still v tired, but def not as queasy and my boobs don't feel as tender, so I'm about it all. I just want to see them ok in there. I don't think I can bear bad news... 26 hours to wait to find out... 🤞

[Catren]

Ohh hobbes you must be so nervous. I bet everything is going to be fine, you're probably getting used to the symptoms so not feeling them so much. Exciting that you're getting another scan but totally get the anxiety. Really hope it's all going according to plan.

My nausea is still there but mainly in the form of having to appetite other than for plain toast. I'm eating out quite a bit with guests staying and all i can order is pasta - normally i'm into all the sour bitter stuff with veggies etc. but it makes me gag even thinking of. Bleugh.

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

Good luck for tomorrow @Hobbes39 - I understand how nervous you must be feeling, but it's great that you have another scan to bridge the long wait for the 12 week one.

My nausea comes and goes - it's worse in the evening, and I think that the 20mg prednisolone I take in the mornings suppresses it for some of the day. I'm 7 weeks today so wondering if it is going to ramp up anymore or whether this is the worst it will get.

@Catren - re: learning the sex of the embryo, that sounds really good, it's great that they inform you after a reassuring scan. Starchy carbs are my preference for food at the moment too! I just bought a cheese toastie to eat on the train home - classy commuter behaviour

[Jenbot78]

Hi all, good to hear from you. I’m 9 weeks today. Feeling very anxious all the time which is quite hard work to be honest. I had another scan on Monday at 8+4,-@@ fine. This was because I ended up in the EPU on Friday night after quite a dramatic bleed. I really thought it was all over but it is just this pesky hematoma. They said there is nothing that can be done about this apart from wait for it to bleed out or reabsorb. I can start bleeding at anytime apparently but I should try not to get alarmed by it. Even though there hasn’t been any more bleeding this has totally ramped up my anxiety!

Yesterday was a terrible day for anxiety; I kept thinking something would go wrong and was virtually having a panic attack every time I went to the loo. Finding it all so exhausting!

Anyone got any good tips to manage anxiety?

Hobbs good luck today in your scan xx

[Catren]

Oh jenbot that sounds so awful, poor you! Bleeding is just so scary no matter how much they tell you it's nothing to worry about. Im finding the anxiety pretty real too. Had a few mc dreams so far which have been bloody awful. I'm trying to keep up the exercise and that helps my mental health generally so maybe some swimming or something?

[Summerloving17]

Hi ladies, please can I join you all, this is my third year TTC after multiple failed iui and now on my third ivf transfer. Transferred my last two blasts last week and have a positive test today. I had an ectopic last year and a miscarriage at 9 weeks in January. I feel sick with nerves and have been testing everyday to check the line is getting darker!

@hobbes I remember you from previous threads and so pleased it is working out. Good luck with your scan!

I will catch up on the full thread soon xx

[Summerloving17]

@jenbot I’m so sorry about the bleeding, it sounds so stressful. I hope the rest of the pregnancy is event free. I am hoping for anxiety tips too! Xx

[Hobbes39]

Hi all - just on way home from scan - both babies doing fine! Such a relief!!
Measuring 10+3 & 10+4 and one even waved! 💕
I can't believe it - was a blubbering wreck!

[Hobbes39]

Scan pic 😊💕

[suchomimus]

You must be over the moon! Congratulations!

[Rememberallball]

Congratulations @Hobbes39. And what lovely clear scan pictures xx

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

Brilliant news @Hobbes39!

I have a scan tomorrow at midday, should be 7+2. Really hope that there's still a heartbeat.

[Jenbot78]

Amazing pics hobbes and good luck today bottomley. AFM I'm still hanging in there, anxiety wise. Today I had a small amount of EWCM with a bit of blood in it (no surprise given all the spotting and bleeding I've had lately...) and have now convinced myself that I am losing my mucus plug. Is that even possible?

At playgroup with my DD today one of our friends (who has a DD the same age) told me she was pregnant and due end of August. For some reaons this really triggered a lot of the same old feelings I used to have when I heard pregnancy announcements and sent me off in an anxious spin... How do other people on this thread cope with pregnancy announcements. Do you think you would have felt the same?

So much fun...Off to worry about something else now, probably...

[suchomimus]

@Jenbot78 - It depends on who tells me and how they behave afterwards, but I don't think I have a logic to it. In the last week, two friends have told me they were pregnant, one bothered me and one didnt. I can't explain why.

To my upmost shame, there are a couple of pregnancies I have struggled with more than I should have. My SIL was pregnant at the same time I had my first mc in 2015. That mc possibly hit me the hardest of them all. I perceived that she was smug in her pregnancy and the baby stages (she probably wasn’t, it was probably me). I still struggle to be around her baby (now child) as it’s a constant reminder to what I lost. I would never admit it in real life. But I guess some things just hurt and trigger memories.

[suchomimus]

I also worry that if I lose this baby, pregnancy announcements around this time will serve as a future constant reminder.

[Chocolateandwineplease27]

Hi can I join you ladies on the anxiety bench please? I'm 8 plus 3 with my second - this was our second FET attempt. I've had a couple of scans now and so far so good (massively touching wood) but I've also had spotting so feel like an anxious mess most of the time. I'm also SO sick of all the meds.

jen and such I'm the same - even though this will (hopefully) be our second baby I still find certain pregnancy announcements hard. There is a woman at the nursery my son goes to and her son is apparently friends with my son - I've always found her quite annoying after we looked round the nursery when we were both pregnant and she was really dramatic about resting/not standing for too long. ANYWAY! she's suddenly wearing a baby on board badge and in my head she's a smug fucking fertile person..... Jesus - typing that all out I clearly have issues!! Xx

[Hobbes39]

Hope it went well today @BottomleyPottsSpots2 - I've been thinking of you...
@Jenbot78 - yes, some pregnancy announcements still really rile me!

I have a (relatively easily conceived) DS who is 5, and while I was hopelessly naive about how hard it can be back then (to my shame I never even knew about missed miscarriages then, I assumed you always KNEW when you were miscarrying - how I got to 36 back then and didn't know that, I have no idea!) I still didn't flood my Facebook with every little aspect of pregnancy and I did know friends who struggled to conceive so was careful not to be a tit about it all.
I have an irrational - and totally unfair - irritation at v unhealthy people getting pregnant easily - I'm so bitter! In doing my treatment I often walked past obese full term ladies smoking outside the hospital and waved to shout at them for smoking and no realising how lucky they were.

Anyway, I think part of my problem with some announcements are how blasé people seem, particularly those churning out their 3rd or 4th at perfect 2 year intervals...
It's hard, and I have no idea of how to be less annoyed by these things, I guess if all progresses ok then I'll be less bitter, but I doubt I'll ever fully forget...