How do I deal with this inane jealousy with pregnant friend?

[ashleyharriet33]

I have been trying for 3 years for a baby
Nothing
I'm now 33.
My best friend has a 8 year old and told me in October she was going to start trying for another.
Yesterday she called and said "I've got a little baba in the oven ,I'm 5 weeks."
And I just thought to myself of course you do ..why wouldn't you,click your fingers and pregnant.
I'm sick to my stomach with sadness /jealous
I want a family but it will never happen,what have I done wrong?
I'm going to have to end the friendship because I can't stand it.
I'm sorry that is such a mopey nasty post but I'm sick of it .

That's normal OP explore your options if you haven't done already-there are things you can do still at your age, I don't mean that in a patronising way but having been there I'd say you have to chase information hard as no one tells you otherwise and be kind to yourself too

Ashley I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.
I know exactly what it's like we've been trying for 7 years and have friends that have had 2-3 kids in that time, it's just heart wrenching with each new announcement. My bf only got married 12 months ago and wasn't bothered about kids but was overjoyed to tell me her happy news before Xmas. I felt exactly how you did at first, made harder with a pic of a jumper for "bumps first Xmas" and a scan pic sent on Xmas day! .
After picking myself up a few days later I dusted myself down and told myself I'm not helping my own situation feeling that way.
We need to be as happy stress free and at ease as possible and being consumed by all the pregnancies around us is only unhealthy to us and potentially our own little miracles 🙏🏼.
It's about finding a way to accept it all, everyone's different of course but I hope you can find some way of moving forward xx

It's sad, Ashley, but you will encounter many pregnant women. I hope the rest of your life, the parts which don't involve having a baby, are happy and good. Make the most of them.

You may become pregnant you know but please try and think of other things - throw yourself into something meaningful and absorbing.

All the best, & for you.

I hope you are OK. I come on this board as I've 2 close friends ttc/going through ivf and I'm trying to learn what I can to be support and as sensitive as possible. I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant in September with my 4th and my first thought was of my friends. I've kept it to myself until after Christmas, I knew they'd be hurt if I hid it but after I read a few threads on the pregnancy board I kept worrying about them. Anyway I have kept it very low fuss, no big announcements (lots of people still don't know) and I didn't go on about it. They both were wonderful, wanted to see me asap, couldn't congratulate us more, asked lots of questions and our other close friend asked one of my friends in private if she's really OK and she told her it is only people who are not good parents and undeserving of children being pregnant that hurt her, that she loves me and so is happy for us. My other friend chatted to me about her recent loss and told me out right not to worry about her or feel awkward ever (I didn't bring up that I did.) I would be devestated if I lost either of them and would do anything to help them, I don't know your friend but do you think she might feel the same? Maybe she doesn't know she's being insensitive? I am so sorry you feel so sad and that your friend has hurt you, she probably was trying to play down her pregnancy for that reason. If I'm wrong and she's just being insensitive then yes end the friendship but if not maybe talk to her, I know I'd want to know if I was hurting my friend. Please don't punish her for what you are going through. X

OP I'm sorry you're going through this! It's shit isn't it

I'm feeling similar lately as a friend of mine is pregnant and is at the stage of telling everyone and showing the picture... it's lovely for them and I'm trying not to show how truly awful I feel every time it's mentioned but it's hard work.

Thinking of you

It is shit but given she is your friend and knows what you’re going through I think she could be more sensitive. I had a wonderful friend who told me her news knowing where I was and did it quietly and in private.

I was so happy for her and really touched by her thought so I could find my balance in the conversation.

Dont lose heart. I have endo. We tried to conceive for offer a year until it was decided to do a lap. They were able to laser some of the endo. I did get pregnant within two months of the surgery. I know i was very lucky.

Whatever happens with the lap, try to access some counselling and look at all if your options with an open mind.

I felt the same when I couldn't conceive, I hated everyone who was pregnant and who conceived easily.

Be kind to yourself.

To the person who conceived first time and has 5 babies - 

There was supposed to be a  at the end.

Argh! It was an eye roll emoji.