Terminally ill husband and infertility

[Cancerandivf]

Hello, I wonder if anyone has any positive stories to help me. I’m 32 and my husband has incurable cancer with a poor prognosis.
We thought we would try IVF thinking we deserved some good luck and that it would be easy because I’m young and his sperm was frozen before chemo.
I’ve had three rounds of ICSI with one chemical pregnancy and one miscarriage at 6 weeks. We had our third round last week and they only collected four eggs with 2 mature and neither fertilised. So they have said I have poor quality eggs with low chances of success in future IVF 10-20% as opposed to the 40-50% we were initially told. My AMH was 12.
It feels so unfair to have a terminally ill husband and now infertility issues as well. I had hoped that I might be able to have more children in the future but now everything seems hopeless. If anyone has any similar stories or advice I would be very grateful.

Hi @cancerandivf I have absolutely no experience but didn't want to read and run - I'm so sorry to hear of what an absolute shit storm you've been dealt. It seems so ridiculously unfair. Do you and DH have good support networks IRL? Are you both able to access counselling for dealing with this?

I haven't started my IVF yet so can't really comment on anything practical, but have you/would you consider donor eggs or is that off the table for you both?

Whatever happens and however you proceed I wish you well xx

Thank you very much for the message, I didn’t expect many other people to be going through this and certainly hope people aren’t so I appreciate your message anyway. I hope your IVF journey is short and successful!

Yes I have a Maggies counsellor who is incredible and we have great family and friends so we are lucky in that sense.
Incredibly my sister today has offered to be an egg doner which I didn’t realise was possible to have a known egg doner.

Is there anyone out there who has had a doner egg from someone they know?

Hi OP - I wonder whether changing the title of the thread might get more responses from people who could help?

If you report your own post you could ask MNHQ to change it to include something about known egg donors if you wanted?

Glad that you have counsellors and great family and friends around you. Wishing you and your husband a Merry Christmas in your dark times xx

Hi @Cancerandivf

Firstly I'm so sorry you're going through this - I know the challenges of infertility and failed rounds of ivf and can't begin to imagine this combined with your husbands diagnosis.

After our first failed cycle we were told we had very poor quality blasts (they didn't know if it was the eggs or sperm) and given a 5-10% chance of success with ivf despite me only being ages 30.

We hanged things up - different dose of drugs, surgically removed husbands sleep took co enzyme q10, DHEA and melatonin and I am now 33/40.

So I guess I'm saying don't give up just yet (unless you emotionally feel you have to move onto donor eggs as the chance of success is higher). Consider a second opinion, ways to improve egg quality and possibly a change in protocol?

Best of luck

I’m so sorry for your situation.
If I were you I would go speak a new clinic. Have you had all 3 rounds at the same place? Are they doing things the same each time? I would do this before contemplating donor egg.

Hi there

I don't have a known donor but I do have twin girls from using donor eggs. I would go for it if she is willing. Its a wonderful gift and it was the best thing that we ever did. hugs it sounds like you're having a really tough time.

@Cancerandivf I'm so sorry to hear your story. I don't have any advice unfortunately but just wanted to send good wishes and positive vibes for you, I really really really hope you have some good news x