How do I cope after miscarriage?

[dolly92x]

Hi everyone, I suffered a miscarriage yesterday, few days after my birthday so I suppose it could of been worse, I'm feeling so temperamental right now but feel as though I'm being a right b**ch I've got a beautiful 7year old son, I feel like I'm being selfish because all i want to do is lock myself in a room and cry away from everyone, he's currently asleep in bed and I'm sat in the bath sobbing my heart out, I've never experienced a miscarriage before, but i feel so alone, I know my partner has no idea what to do or say, I just feel so lost, is this normal? Thanks x

Im so sorry you're going through this, it's miserable. We suffered 6 consecutive losses before having our rainbow. Everything you are feeling is normal! I went through a whole range of emotions from anger to utter despair. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to deal with what's happened. It's early days still. It does get easier

It’s just happened, your hormones are all over the place, let alone the emotional impact of having all the hopes and dreams that are tied up in a new baby just ripped away from you so harshly. You are doing super well just to put one foot in front of another, be very kind to yourself, snuggle your lovely boy and tell your partner how you are feeling, he will be struggling with his feelings of loss too. It gets easier but you are in the very teeth of it now, please don’t be too hard on yourself. xx

@Eh1112 Thankyou for replying and I'm so so sorry for your losses that's heartbreaking. If you ever need to talk I'm here.. x. I'm really trying my hardest to push myself knowing I have a fantastic little family, I just feel like a let down, I'm sure you can relate to what I mean, I'm just in a bad place right now, im sure il be ok. Thankyou so much for replying x

@Mediumred Thankyou for your kind words they are very comforting, I feel as though I've let everybody down as it was in 'my body' I know deep down it's nobody's fault, but just have them urges to think, it was all your fault, your body your fault, my little boy and my partner are my rocks, and couldn't of coped without them. Thankyou so much for replying. It's lovely to have someone to talk too. Xx

It's only just happened, and it is totally understandable to feel angry and distraught. You loved that baby already and it was your child. I found it helpful to name the baby I lost. Give yourself time to heal, it does get easier. I had my rainbow baby last week, I named her with the same initials as the baby I lost, I will never forget that baby, and I will forever miss them but you do come to terms with it.x

@ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH Thankyou for replying, that's such a lovely idea, I was thinking of doing something like that, I thought it was all over just like a period now and then the clots start again, brings back horrible thoughts 😩 I'm sorry for your loss. Thankyou for replying xx

Be kind to yourself. It has taken me the best part of a year to come to terms with my miscarriage. I miscarried after ivf back in April. My due date would've been next week. It's very hard but it does get easier.

Give yourself time. Do you work? I suggest taking some time off and not doing what I did which was trying to be normal and carrying on. Your baby was much wanted and you can't just get over that quickly.

@twinkledag I'm so so sorry to hear that, it's so heartbreaking if you ever need a chat I'm here x

I'm not working at the moment, had an awful 6months! Was admitted to hospital in April with head problems, then this :( I am a firm believer of what's meant to be will be, I've got no plans to rush into TTC anytime soon, never felt so physically/mentally drained in my entire life! Xx

You definitely need to give yourself time to process it, the physical effects are awful from a miscarriage and so are the mental and emotional ones, it sounds like you have had a dreadful time even before this. you need to be so kind to yourself, please take this time for yourself to mourn your loss, you cannot carry on just now as if nothing happened, you will come through this if you let yourself grieve now. Also draw comfort from your lovely boy and your partner, and be very proud of yourself, you are doing great. Xx

@Mediumred once again thank you for your beautiful heartfelt message it really means a lot to me. Oh yes testing times right now, my little boy has been my angel, absolute little gem!!! My partner is trying, but I know he's suffering too, & we are both trying hard to communicate about it all, Christmas coming up, I'm sure everything will be back to normal! xx