Struggling with pregnancy news

[RoxyP]

My good friend has recently become pregnant after trying for a couple of months. I congratulated her, mustered some inner strength and said all the right things. She then after knowing my situation of trying for years and with much disappointment, decided to send me scan pics and moaned about how she couldn't drink alcohol at a Christmas's party. This was on the day I was in the hospital for fertility treatment which she also knew about. I then congratulated her again but apparently not enough this time. I then mentioned I was struggling with that on that day. I am now the worst friend and had a boat load of abuse. I am not sure how to deal with this situation, I swing from being angry at her for being so insensitive and wanting to tell her exactly how I feel to being upset and just wanting to walk away. Any advise would be grateful!

I'd quietly distance yourself. She's being very unkind or at least unthinking. Hopefully she will in a few weeks realise what she has said and feel very ashamed and apologise to you.

What a bitch. She wants you to feel happy for her but is unwilling to show any sympathy/ empathy for you. I'd block her number and cross the street if I saw her. I don't find her response normal.

Sorry, but I agree, your friend is a self-centred nob utterly lacking in empathy! How you managed to keep your cool after she gave you abuse for daring to suggest you might have feelings I don’t know.

I would keep my distance TBH, you have enough to deal with without her silly selfish tantrums.

Good luck with your treatment and hope you have some positive news soon.

People who haven’t had trouble conceiving will probably never understand how painful it is. However I think she is being really insensitive gave you a load of abuse? Knowing your having treatment that’s horrible and I wouldn’t call her a friend. I have a friend who I’ve known since school and she knows about my infertility and she said something really insensitive before and I stopped talking to her she said sorry when I explained why and she really didn’t notice for all those weeks it was because of what she had said she thought I was just being a cow just shows even the closest of friends don’t really understand and don’t think before they say things. I would talk to her and explain how you felt and if she doesn’t show any sympathy and blames you I wouldn’t bother speaking to her anymore, my friend was nasty in what she said but she did realise when I explained and she apologised a lot if she hadn’t done we wouldn’t be friends right now
Good luck with your treatment hun x

Thank you everyone, I do appreciate it, I think I am too upset and angry at the mo to speak to her, maybe in a few days when we both have calmed down x

That's horrible. Keep your distance as you're going through a hard enough time already and don't need this insensitivity. Best of luck with your treatment.

I’m sorry to hear your friend has been so unsupportive. I’ve lost a friend through my fertility journey, it makes me very sad and I have questioned whether after a year I should try and make amends but I know she will never understand what I’ve been through. She was so vile I can not forgive the words she said including her hoping my partner and I never had any success in our attempts to become parents. Sometimes people come and go in our lives and as upsetting as that is for now you have to look after yourself, let her travel her road and you travel yours. With any luck you’ll merge back together at some point in the future but what you are going through is greatly underestimated by those who haven’t been there, just because she doesn’t understand doesn’t change that. You are the one who needs support, love and empathy and if she can’t provide those things then for now distance is probably for the best. It may save your relationship in the long run. Xx

@RoxyP @Alikimoo I've also lost my best friend through my IVF and miscarriage due to their insensitivity and know exactly how hurtful and hard it can be.
I really feel for you both.

However when you've got so much to fight through with fertility treatment and all the ups and downs the only thing you can do is to protect yourself from those who lack basic empathy and kindness.

It's eight months on now since I lost my baby and she has since happily had hers, and not once during this time has she tried to make amends. I'm finally realising now it's over for good and coming to terms with that being a positive thing even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

Wishing you the best. Remember you deserve to have good people around you x

Wow she sounds like a bitch. Sorry she's so mean. She's not really a friend.