Hi all,
Just after a bit of advice as our IVF paperwork arrived the other day and I'm feeling very emotional about it all.
Bit of background:
I have a balanced translocation and a 50% risk of passing on the unbalanced version to any babies. Chromsomes involved mean any unbalanced pregnancy would be very unlikely to make it to term and even less likely to survive post birth. Most likely outcome would be early miscarriage but we have already decided we would test any natural pregnancy that made it far enough to test.
Because of this we're eligible for 3 rounds of IVF with PGD on the NHS (incredibly thankful for this) and have been referred to Guy's from our local hospital ~200 miles away. I have concerns about communication as I've read lots of terrible experiences from others, but was reassured by the Guy's GC that things were improving so we are prepared to see how it goes for our first cycle and then potentially transfer to another clinic if it is truly terrible.
We have been TTC naturally for 20 months with not so much as a sniff of a BFP. Unsure if this is to do with the translocation or just bad luck or potentially other issues. Other than a sperm test for DH we have had no fertility investigations as are terrified that we might be accused of seeking IVF for fertility reasons rather than genetic ones and might have the funding pulled. DH's sperm test was okay but not great - good count but low-ish motility and morphology. GP felt natural conception (based on sperm test) still likely.
Friend went through a TFMR last year and it really hit home that that could be us if we were to conceive naturally, hence deciding to request the referral for PGD, but agreed to continue trying naturally in the meantime and just accept that risk.
So where we are now:
We've had our first appointment with Guy's (genetics) and the first consent form has arrived to confirm that we want to go ahead, which is great. BUT. We have to sign to confirm that we are not TTC and that we are using robust contraception in the meantime. The idea of going back on the pill just breaks my heart. I think part of me thought it would happen naturally while we were waiting.
With the PGD they sometimes have to build probes specifically tailored to the couple and there is obviously a cost involved in this, and if you conceive naturally you might have to pay any costs already incurred back. I totally get this, the NHS is not made of money. For us though, they have confirmed in writing that no work-up is needed because commercially available standard probes can be used. So as far as I can see, there is no cost involved until our first appointment at the ACU? In which case I can't see why I need to be on the pill until that first appointment, which will most likely be around March if we send the forms back immediately. So that's 3-4 more months of TTC that we would miss out on.
I really don't know what to do and would love some advice - would you:
- get back on the pill, return the forms straight away and just wait
- delay returning the forms for another month or so (we have 3 months to return them) just in case, and then go back on the pill when you return them
- return the forms now but stay TTC until just before the next appointment (I'm not sure how I feel about this ethically but I really, really, really want to delay the pill if I can)
Sorry for the mega long message and ramble. I'm finding this very stressful and just don't know what to do. Thanks all xx