MMC - can’t cover up those feelings forever...

[Peanut1980]

Hey,

So I’m not sure what I want to achieve from this post. Maybe just some guidance from people who have been in the same boat?

I fell pregnant through ivf and discovered at 6.5 weeks that baby had no heartbeat and it was confirmed at 7.5 weeks. I haven’t really allowed myself to not be OK about it but I feel it’s bubbling up and it’s almost suffocating. I have a 5 year old son so am busy with him and can’t be upset in front of him. When it was confirmed I’d had a MMC I was upset but just said ‘oh well one of those things and risk of miscarriage is always high’. Just brushing it off. I had my miscarriage surgically removed this week. My son was then off sick the next day and my husband went awol on a bender so I was driving my son to the Drs and looking after him. It was a good distraction but I never had the time to deal with it or acknowledge it. I feel like I need someone to give me huge hug and I could cry for days but I can just never find the right time. I’m just not sure how much longer I can contain it. I’m dreading someone just asking how I am on the school run tomorrow because I feel it might just push me over the edge.

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and about your misscarriage xx
Have you talked to your partner about it? X

@donnas146 I have but he says he doesn’t know what to say x

He’s probably hurting just as much sweet heart and doesn’t know how to make you feel better, my hubby is the same and he’s not a big communicator. I think men find it hard to express feelings. This is about you though and you need to have a little break maybe ask your oh to have your child for a day so you can have some time to yourself and maybe have a bit of time for your and hubby one of the nights x

@donnas146 yes I agree. I do think he’s hurting which is why he went awol but it just put a further strain on everything. Hubby and I do def need to make some time for each other. I’m going to book a baby sitter for next weekend so we can just go out for lunch together. Thanks for taking the time to message me xx

Don’t be daft bab we are all here to support each other my hubby is the type to drink aswell when he’s hurting but you two are in this together remember that and you will both be ok just make time for each other and talk about it if you don’t talk it will make things worse x

Hi Peanut,
Ive been on a few of the other threads and I'm so so sorry to hear you didn't get to see your little ones heartbeat. It's devastating and just so unfair to get to that point but no further.
Do consider whether you might like to talk to a counsellor. After my MMC I felt no one could understand what I was going through and having a session with a fertility counsellor was a godsend. She also gave me some self care and grief meditations and a relaxing reiki treatment and I completely cried my eyes out but it was exactly what I needed at the time. I just needed to be heard and to let out the pain.
Wishing you all the best and do whatever you need for you. xxx

I had a mc after ivf in April this year and after many many months of feeling so so down, falling out with family and almost losing my job I went for counselling and am only now coming out of the other side of it.

I too tried to carry on but everything fell apart. Talking to a good friend really helped. Do you have a friend you can open up to?

Time is great healer even though it's a cliche.