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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Where has she gone?

22 replies

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:14

I am in mourning. I mourn for the woman I used to be before I started TTC.

I mourn for the young carefree woman that used to thing ‘when’ I have children not ‘if’ I have children.

Where is the woman that used to have sex with her husband for fun and enjoy it and because she fancied the pants off him not because the fucking flashy smiley says we should?

Where is the woman that does feel a bit of sadness every time a new pregnancy is announced despite the fact there are not a finite number of babies in the world?

Where is the woman who rolled around quite happily in bed and did not wake up at 6.30on the dog every day just to make sure her temperature charting was accurate despite the fact it’s a Saturday and you’ve just worked a 60 hour week?

Where is the woman who does not obsess over the colour/texture and god help me smell of cervical fluid?

Where is the woman who would scoff at the thought of taking that many supplements if you picked her up she would rattle?

Where is the woman that would quote happily splash out on a lovely holiday to a zika country three years ago and not consider that you ‘might’ be pregnant despite the fact two years later she’s still not pregnant?

Where is the woman whose life is not lived in two week sodding blocks?

Where is the woman before I TTC? I want her back. This has to change. NOW. For the future of my sanity.

OP posts:
WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:16

Lol on the dot not dog! 😂

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WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:17

Wow so many typos. Too tired and emotional to sort that out. Sorry

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bluetrampolines · 15/10/2018 20:22

I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. It is a frightening time. Have you been ttc for long?

Lemonsnlime · 15/10/2018 20:23

Aw I know you feel. 2 years ttc here too 😕 the news of Meghan Markle didn’t put me in a very good mood this morning!!

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:32

Yep 2.5 years for us. Confirmed Male factor infertility 😕

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WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:33

Yep turns out the bloody royals are right fertile myrtles! Having said I bet she doesn’t have a postcode lottery of ivf or sodding waiting lists to contend with even if she wasn’t fertile!

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Lemonsnlime · 15/10/2018 20:46

She was probably checked out before they got married. Still really quick though, she’s 37!

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 20:52

Really quick assuming it’s a natural conception or is that my bitter and twisted side coming out again? I’ve also lost my sensible head. Send it back

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ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 15/10/2018 20:57

Wasn’t trying for as long as you, but was a long road to getting pregnant with DD1- a year. I became quite depressed so I can only imagine where you are. I swear that acupuncture helped me get pregnant in the end. Good luck OP, it’s a shit time.

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 21:24

Yep also currently doing acupuncture

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ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 15/10/2018 21:32

Persist with it, I had it for a few months and weirdly it lengthened my cycles which seemed to work. There was also a gross fertility tea they prescribed me. I wish I could give you a hug OP I remember it so clearly, it was horrible.

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 15/10/2018 21:34

Yeah I over year in with acupuncture and I like it. I have had it for other things too such as pain relief after an operation before we started ttc. The problem is Male factor infertility though so no amount of sticking needles in me is going to hell with that. I keep going because i like the stress relieve it gives for me

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Dia12 · 15/10/2018 23:08

Is your partner having accupuncture? We suffer from mfi too and over the past year my DHs semen has improved significantly. We found out that he was suffering from a varicolcele and prostatitis. He had embolisation for the varicocele last year and long term antibiotics for the prostatitis.
I’m just mentioning this as I’ve found the consultants gave very little attention to the reasons behind MFI - just concentrated on treating me ICSI.

Lemonsnlime · 16/10/2018 09:04

I’ve read about acupuncture for infertility. I have endometriosis, currently waiting on a laparoscopy but I don’t know if acupuncture is worth a try? Did you get it through the NHS?

angelazul · 16/10/2018 15:15

Blimey I feel like I could've written that post myself. There aren't any words to describe how bloody shit it all is, & I just want to feel like the old me again. We've been ttc for 3 years, diagnosis of MFI, & 2 failed ICSI cycles under our belt (due to my poor response) SadSadSad

OP, jut remember you're not alone & keep your chin up Flowers

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 16/10/2018 19:08

@lemonsnlime I pay privately for my acupuncture

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PurpleDaisies · 16/10/2018 19:14

I don’t know if acupuncture is worth a try

Unfortunately, there’s no evidence at all that acupuncture does anything for infertility. If you find it calming, it might be a nice experience though. Smile

WhatelsecouldIbecalled · 16/10/2018 20:39

@angelazul why did you react poorly do you know? We will have to go down the icsi route

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BertieDrapper · 16/10/2018 21:01

I could've written your post 4 years ago.... in the midst of a 4 infertility struggle I seriously thought I was gonna crack up and knew I had to do something!
So I googled and found a hypnotherapist who specialised in hypnotherapy for infertility. And it REALLY helped. The hypnotherapy is not meant to help get you pregnant or anything but to help you to deal with everything infertility throws at you.

Before hypno I wouldn't book a holiday or trip till last minute- you know in case we got pregnant!
We were literally living month to month it was awful. The constant rollercoaster of emotions. - Hope - then despair! And the constant symptom spotting!!! Arhh

But the hypno really helped us get past that. And we actually starting living again.
If you google the fertility method you may find someone near you who you can see.

Sending lots of love to you xxx

angelazul · 17/10/2018 09:21

@whatelsecouldibecalled no idea, & our clinic seem just as clueless Angry 1st round was long protocol, we got 1 immature egg. 2nd round was flare protocol & we got 1 mature egg which fertlised, and we transferred top grade embryo, but still got BFN.

juneybean · 17/10/2018 15:25

I can totally empathise with you, I'm sick of being a miserable person and pulling away from anyone who happens to announce a pregnancy.

2fingers22018 · 01/11/2018 09:40

@Whatelse i feel you 100% 3yrs in ttc im turning into an angry and bitter woman..no amount of advice or comforting helps just need to let out a rant every now and again(on the daily😶)

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