I love my husband, we have been through so much together. We lost his mum 9 months into our relationship and moved in together. We then lost a baby 16 weeks into my pregnancy - it was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do I was critically unwell but we got through it. Then amazingly we fell pregnant with our now beautiful funny two year old. We decided after everything to get married. However for the past 18 months we have been TTC it's as if all affection has gone from our relationship. Sex is like clock work dictated by a calender and ovulation tests. We constantly snap at each other and there are times I feel so guilty I can't give him that second child he's so desperate for. My depression gets worse. He deserves someone who can give him what he's always dreamed of. I'm not good enough for him any more. My AF was late this month we got our hopes built up so much we were elated then BOOM she appeared. I just wanted to scream, shout at anyone who looked at me..
We have been told to see a fertility specialist now.. our appointment is booked but I'm at a stage now I don't know how much more I can take. I want this so much but it's emotionally draining me and it's putting so much pressure on our marriage. I just needed a rant to let it all out.