Secondary Infertility After Miscarriage

[MissSusanSays]

So, I’ve lurked around a few infertility threads before but I’ve not really gotten involved yet. I think I was a bit scared to admit that things aren’t going well.

Background is this: have one DD who is nearly three and got preganant fairly easily then. Got pregnant very unexpectedly when DD was nine months old. Very stressful time with work/ impending wedding/ family pressures etc. Rearranged the wedding at short notice to accommodate pregnancy. Overjoyed as it would be my pit for terrible job. Bit nervous about having two under two but getting excited.

Then I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. Actual miscarriage was at DDs first birthday party. I just took codine and pushed through. Got married a couple of weeks later with the miscarriage still incomplete. Was a mess. Very depressed for a long, long time at how everything had seemed to go wrong at once. Have made myself very ill in the desperation to get pregnant again- temping, charting, apps, OPKs etc. Everything.

Nearly two years on and still nothing. I’m in a better place now emotionally and I’ve changed jobs too. I’ve had the 21 Day hormone test at the doctors and am apparently ovulating. What next? I don’t really know what to do now and I don’t want to talk about it with friends and family. The miscarriage was really public because of the wedding and I can feel them all waited My for good news from me.

I do know that I am very lucky to already have DD. I think that without the miscarriage I might not have minded so much about maybe not having another one.

Sorry you’re going through this. Secondary infertility can be incredibly cruel, particularly when it’s preceded by a loss.

We tried unsuccessfully for almost two years to get to DC2 before resorting to IVF. Tests revealed that we had MFI which they labelled as a contributory factor, but on paper we should still be fertile, it’s just that for whatever reason, we aren’t any more.

In terms of next steps, I would get the GP to request a sperm analysis from your DH. It also probably makes sense to check your AMH (which is a more reliable indicator of ovarian reserve than FSH); have a scan to check your antral follicle count (another measure of ovarian reserve) as well as to look out for polyps and fibroids and possibly get your Fallopian tubes examined for blockages.

Funding for fertility investigations/ treatment on the NHS can be fairly non-existent for those with children already, but it is very much a postcode lottery, so you may find that not all of the above is funded.

Depending on when the NHS tests come to an end, there may be no harm in booking an appointment with a private clinic to discuss your options.

Good luck. I really hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

Thanks so much. That really gives me a better idea. My GP has been a bit wishy washy. She just keeps repeating ‘You’ve been pregnant before so it’ll probably be ok’.

Friend has given me some contact details for the private fertility clinic she used so might contact them.

Hi misssusansays

I am also a reader rather than writer on these blogs.... but I read yours and felt my story was similiar (little girls 2 1/2, got pregnant again when she was 18 months pretty quickly but had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and still not pregnant) .... and the crazy temping/over thinking/reading up stage is where I am now!
I'm trying some reflexology at the minute ..... I'm not sure if the girls who's doing it is qualified or knows what she's doing but she's cheap and hoping it'll have some kind of calming effect on me! 😂 definitely at the crazy stage!
I think the private clinic sounds useful too, GP dont seem to understand the knowledge we have from lurking on blogs! Wishing you lots of luck and calmness!

Anyone that is thinking about IVF maybe be check sooner rather than later whether you could get it on the NHS as they have an age limit. Due to a genetic condition I would need to have PGD which is like IVF but they test the embryos for the condition - I cannot get this on NHS because I have a healthy DD. Not exactly the same but due to the said condition I had to have a TFMR last Oct when I got pregnant with a little boy, it was still heartbreaking but he may not have survived and would have suffered if he did. I haven’t been pregnant since but literally everyone I know got pregnant after me and have now all had baby number 2! I do also have PCOS and the chance of the baby being affected is 50% but PGD is £15k per cycle!