Sister in law had 20 week scan

[herewegoagain18]

Hi

As the title says sister in law had 20 week scan and told us the genderr. Im feeling very sad as had failed ivf earlier this year (my only funded cycle) and an early miscarriage and been trying 4 and a half years not a bpf in sight. the timings of the baby are around the time my baby would have been due. I found it very hard being told by third party as had the failed ivf before they become pregnant .

My Other sister in law was excited for us to have ivf and for a baby of same gender ( as what sis in law is having) and said as much. Now she has been commenting on scan pics saying how she will now get this

Sorry if not very clear trying not to be outing here.

Im feeling so down and sad right now. Im finding since the ivf failed its been so much harder to deal with pregnancy/birth announcements . There has been 6 so far.

I just feel so hopeless and life feels really joyless. I feel like im limbo and going to be this way for good, this is now my life.

Dh does not want to do any futher fertility treatment so i know thats making things feel worse. At the same time i cant force him into going through it again if he does not want to do it .

Feeling very alone .
X

I don't really know what to say, but I feel for you. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that this situation is so hard.

Life is really shit sometimes isn't it :-( we just lost our second pregnancy. No one can say anything to make it better but if you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me. It's a crap club to be in but you're not alone xxx

Hi LiquoricePickle

Thankyou for your reply. I really appriciate you taking the time to respond and thats ok ,just saying what you have said is enough. I was worried i came across as unkind .
Xx

Oh daytime i am so sorry i know that does not do it justice though . I hope you are doing as ok as you can and have lots of support around you irl . I found the support as it was so early very limited and people lacked understanding that i found it very hard.

Thats so kind your offer of a pm. i will say the same for you as would like to be there for you in any way i can . As you say there isnt words that can make it better but just having a listening ear can really help XXX

@herewegoagain18 thanks :-) I didn't mean to derail your thread just wanted to let you know you're not the only one who is struggling :-) I'm weirdly peaceful at the moment. Think because i hadn't allowed myself to get my hopes up with this one it hadn't been as horrific if that makes sense. Seems I can get pregnant easily it's just getting a sticky bean so I am holding onto that thought until I know better :-)

What do you think the next step is for you?
Xxx

Hi daytime

You didnt rerail your going through stuff yourself and trying to let me know im not alone . Hope your feeling ok as you can today. Im glad you are feeling that way about things which helps. Its still very sad for you though

I have no idea what my next step is. Currently trying naturally again. Back in the ttc cycle. Dh adamant about no further fertility treatment/assistance. So in limbo as gone backards not forwards.

Thats not helping as just having a plan has whats helped me get through the last 4 years of ttc. Now im just left with no way to move forward but hope we do eventually conceive naturally..
Xx

Bless you. Has he said why he can't face trying again? Sometimes I think all this ttc really sucks the joy out of marriage. I know it has a little bit for us. I'm not overly open emotionally and I've had to be really careful not to push my husband away. It's not that I don't want to let him in it's just that I don't always know how. One of my main fears is not being able to give my husband a child. Do you think he might be feeling like he's letting you down?

You’re not alone. I just saw my mother and sister in law yesterday and most of the conversation was about DH and I having a child. Lucky for me they're very supportive. I always get the ‘don’t be sad, you’ll be a mom’ or don't think about or you can't stress about it. I’m lucky to have supportive friends. But most of these people are people with children already. I just think for the people who conceived very easily, they have no idea just how perfect everything has to align to get pregnant! I must admit, I never realized how much of a process it was, and how many different reasons there could be for infertility. I had a friend tell me the other day to just relax and act like I am already pregnant. Somehow she believes I will get pregnant just like that after 4 years of trying by just relaxing. They just don’t get it… They don’t know how it feels when you’re ttcing for years and nothing happens. It's good that we have somewhere to go (this site) where others are in the same situation and understand. DH gets very stressed because at his job all his friends ask him when he's going to have a baby and that makes him feel bad about himself. I guess is not only us that get it.