Prepping for IVF (+PGD) - killing time/need to feel proactive suggestions

[ivf2019]

Hi all.

I've been lurking about for a while but our referral has just gone through for IVF with PGD at Guy's, so I figured now was as good a time as any to de-lurk.
TTC for 18 months (not long in the grand scheme of these boards) but made decision not to request fertility clinic referrals as I have a balanced translocation, and they get funny about letting you have the PGD if they think you're doing it because of any other fertility issues beyond your genetic situation. So hopeful that the preliminary IVF assessments won't throw up anything major. Recently decided that we really didn't want to face the emotional turmoil of conceiving naturally and facing TFMR if the baby was unbalanced if we had an option to avoid it, hence now kick-starting the PGD route.

We're very, very lucky to have the IVF+PGD option available to us, but it's still a difficult thing to wrap your head around needing and I'm struggling a little bit. No guarantees, physically/emotionally intense in ways we can't even understand yet...

Just wanted to ask if anyone has any advice for the next 6-8 months while we wait for appointments and treatment dates etc.? Physical things, egg quality things, keeping yourself sane?
My BMI is 27 so just overweight, so I'm planning to lose some weight before we start, and will be alcohol/caffeine free for 3 months before we start treatment, but I kind of feel like I need to be doing something now to kill the time and make me feel proactive.

Also, why is the reaction always so bloody chipper when you open up about these things?
Any advice on how you handle the
"omg hun aren't you so excited now that they're doing something to help you?!?!?!"

... actually no, I'm not that excited about false menopause and injections and egg collection and the risk of OHSS and waiting for embryo testing and freezing and thawing and what if we don't even have any normal embryos, let alone thinking about transfers and beyond, and I'd much rather have just got knocked up the old fashioned way and not have a 50%+ risk of that baby dying before birth.

Sorry for the long, ranty post. Thanks in advance for any tips and all the best to you all x

I'm glad you feel supported @ivf2019. I think there's nothing worse than feeling alone with all of this.
I do have a very supportive family and lovely friends but do feel alone with it all unfortunately. I'd like to find some ladies closer to home who have had recurrent miscarriages in particular as that's what I'm still mentally and emotionally struggling with at the moment, so not sure if I should put a message out to see if anyone is based near me or not that would want to meet up. I think it might be good for my husband too as again none of his friends have ever been through any of what we are going through and I hope they never will, but we need that support right now. It was difficult before but we had the hope of being pregnant every month and the new pregnancies to keep us busy in different ways but now that we don't I think we should look into it.

I had a difficult time on Wednesday as bumped into 2 girls I worked with a few years ago, both were pregnant and they explained how so many of the other ladies we worked with are having their first or second child soon too. They don't have a clue about anything that I'm going through as I haven't seen them since this all started. It was a tough day.

Woohoo this week I've made it to 1.5 stone off! 8lbs left and 4 weeks to do it in!

Hope you're having a lovely weekend x

Wow congrats on the weight loss! I've lost 6lbs so 2 more to go and I'm back in the healthy range of BMI hopefully this will help for us to ttc again but I don't even know if I'm ovulating yet - I'm having regular periods every 5 weeks to the day but so far this month and some of last month I've had no positive ovulation test?! I haven't taken them all month and we've not been ttc really just if it happens it happens kind of thing but we do want to start ttc once we know if and when I'm ovulating!!

Congrats @boo2you in your weight loss too.
Are you using the cheaper ovulation sticks or the digital ones? I never got a positive result with the cheaper ones but always did with the digital.
Do you get other signs of ovulation e.g. discharge and cramps?x

I’ve just started using the digital ones this month- I get discharge and cramps but I don’t even know when I’m due to ovulate coz I have a 35 days cycle but with both my previous pregnancies I conceived two weeks after my period- the digital ovulation test this month said I wasn’t ovulating two weeks after my period though!!

Oh that's strange, hopefully it was just an off month and it gives you more clarification next time. Our bodies do like to confuse us at times x

@Munchies89 that sounds like a good idea - perhaps put something on the infertility boards for others going through the same thing as you? Or I wonder whether Tommy's do any local support groups as I know they do a lot of work for recurrent miscarriage?
I hope you manage to get some good IRL support xx

@Boo2you good luck with the OPKs, hopefully you'll settle back into a routine cycle soon! xx