After 2 years of naturally ttc; 1 fresh IVF round that resulted in a stillbirth at 34 weeks; 1 x FET ending in a chemical and 1 x FET ending in a miscarriage; just hit 40 and taking a deep breath to attempt 1 last fresh IVF...I am literally throwing the kitchen sink at our next (last) Ivf round it but thinking why.
Why am I doing all these weird things? Do they even make a difference??
Believing in Dr Google?
As I spend yet more money topping up endless supplements; replacing our plastic Tupperware; banning DH from drinking yet again...It made me wonder, what are the craziest things we’ve done to get that bfp and our baby...
And still waiting (I’m not looking for the “we beat all odds” stories...I know they are there but right now i need to wallow).
So far I’ve:
Tried 2 different ovulation apps
Spent hundreds on OPKs
Spent hundreds on Zita west pills for me (and him)
Ditto ubiqinol
Ditto omega
Ditto Vit D spray
Banned DH from smoking
Banned DH from wearing tight boxers
Banned DH from drinking booze
I’ve not drank booze
I’ve felt guilty having that one (or 2 or 3 glasses of wine when I’ve felt sick of not drinking booze)
Cut out sugar (well, tried to. DH will not participate)
Cut out caffeine
spent thousands on acupuncture
Gulped (holding nose) green protein shots
Made nutribullet home made “tasty” shakes every day
Had sex every day
Had sex every other day
Not told DH it was peak day to relieve the pressure during peak week
Gone organic
Closed our social diary due to Ivf cycles
And these are just the things I can think of now.
Going mad.
Am I alone in my quest for our bfp??!
Please tell me I’m not alone!!!