IVF too expensive - going to keep trying naturally - unexplained infertility

[DontCareBear]

I feel like this is a pointless thread, as I am sure so many other people have posted similar before.

But does anybody just feel it is unfair that IVF is only offered on NHS to certain areas? I am unlucky and happen to live in Cambridgeshire, which means I will have to fork out about £4K (im guessing) for a cycle, which only has a 40-50% chance of working. Unfortunately my husband and I just cant affors to pay that much and potentially come out the other side with nothing but depression and regret.

We have been ttc properly since Nov 2017. Since Oct 2015 we were trying but naively thought it would happen straight away or pretty soon judging by ALL our friends now having had their children and are onto their second. No hard feelings towards them ofc but it is starting to get to me now.

Had all the tests come back fine for me and my husband. NEVER had a BFP. We are going to try for another year to make sure we give it the proper 2 year window (doing everything right e.g. lots of sex during fertile window). Then who knows, maybe we will just stop trying.

It is is really hard not to feel angry. I admire those of you with such positivity- believe me I am not a negative person. I can see how imfertility breaks some couples apart though. It is pretty brutal emotionally and cant even imagine how it must feel to also go through the IVF process and keep your chin up.

Anyways sorry for the rant and the rambling. Also I know in the grand scheme of things trying since 2015 is not a long time and I know others have been on this journey for much longer. Either way, I hope everyone else is doing ok and wish we all get a BFP soon x

Hi DontCareBear.

TTC is a pain in the ass. Since Nov 17 isn't too bad, it's long to you I know. It's emotionally draining. You have hope, then you get your period, you're gutted but then it starts all over again.

I'm from a country where IVF is not offered, you have to go private so I think it's amazing that the NHS offer any women free IVF.

How old are you? If you are going to TTC for another year could you and your partner start saving in case you don't get your BFP.

Hi EleanorRigbey - thanks for your response. I am just venting I suppose it really is a rubbish situation to be in.

Im nearly 31 and went off the pill in Nov 15 but it took a whole year for my periods to regulate so most of 2016 was out. 2017 was when we started trying without charting etc as my cycles kind of regulated a bit. By Nov 2017 we realised we had to start timing etc as I have long cycles so we were missing the fertile window all those times we tried

And yes I understand re. the IVF. It can just seem unfair when the only thing that means you arent eligible is your postcode. But I do get it - we are fortunate in the UK.

How about you? Are you looking at IVF too?

Don't Care Bear, it's hard seeing others having babies while you are TTC.

IVF provision is unfair, there is more information on this website www.fertilityfairness.co.uk

I have to ask though if you definitely need IVF, there may be other treatments available. You say your tests came back fine, are you sure they were completed on the correct days if you have long cycles.
They might have been but worth checking.

It might be that Clomid could help. Or treatment such as IUI is much cheaper than IVF.
However it may be that you do need IVF in the future, if you can start a fund it will help take the sting out of it. It is crap though, there aren't many times when you spend so much money with no certain outcome.

I've had IVF but haven't got pregnant yet, I'm quite a bit older than you though and still going to have another cycle in the next few months.

Good luck 💐

JeNeBaguetteRien Gives good advice you may just need some help i.e.: clomid.

I understand your frustration re: the NHS postcode. It does seem unfair that one area will provide treatment over another. I'm still in awe that they will pay for it at all.

The whole TTC process is a mindf**k. It does take an emotional toll, it's ok to have days like today to vent. As cliche as it sounds, try to relax, it really does help.

Like JeNeBaguetteRien I am older than you, 40. I have been told that I have only a 10% chance that IVF will be successful. Doing major soul searching at the moment about whether we want to go ahead with IVF or not (self-funded). Luckily we can afford it, it would put a strain on our finances but we could manage.

Do you use OPK's to give yourself an understanding of when you ovulate?

Take care and be kind to yourself, it is hard mentally but keep trying :-) hopefully you'll get a BFP soon.

I'm going to be annoying and say to you not to stress and just DTD when you feel like you crave him so badly instead of charting. Many people follow charts and it isn't even the fertile days. Listen to your body.
Also remove any fake rings from your fingers. It's going to sound so random but I've seen this a lot. You probably don't wear one of those though.

Lastly try going to a Chinese herbalist instead. These people are amazing and are overlooked because of the NHS we have today. For unexplained infertility, they can explain quite a lot.

Thanks @JeNeBaguetteRien - that website is quite interesting and I will have a proper read when I get a chance.

Yes I am going to ask at the fertility clinic next week if there are any other options available. I had my AMH blood test last week and will be getting the results and discussing my situation with a consultant. I hope my ovarian reserve is ok 🤞

Oh I hope it all goes well for you! It would be wonderful after all your struggle so far. Fingers crossed for you and baby dust

Best of luck xxx

I agree, it is so unfair and against the NICE recommendations.

Was TTC 6 yrs with herbs and other various natural methods (for unexplained infertility). In the end, we self referred for IUI, also did broad reproductive immunology tests (NK cells, etc), did SpermComet test and hypnotherapy.

NHS tests won't tell you the full picture. Altogether, it cost us less than 1 IVF cycle and luckily worked 1st time. 1st step was coaching, then going to the Fertility Show. You have to get serious... else 6 years flies by!!

Also remove any fake rings from your fingers. It's going to sound so random but I've seen this a lot. You probably don't wear one of those though.

Fake rings? ie.: not real gold/silver?

That's such a shame that in your area you don't get a free cycle, we get one in our area which I'm about start. I think some people do just take longer, one of my friends took 18 months and then got pregnant and another fell pregnant just before they were due to start IVF.
I've just bought It Starts with the Egg book which gives tips on how to improve egg health.
In terms of money, one of our options is to remortgage the house to release some money if we have to pay for another round. Or some people even set up a Go Fund Me page - but obviously that's very public and you might not want to do that! Fingers crossed for you,

Have you looked at going abroad for IVF? We are planning that and it's a lot cheaper than the UK. From my research a cycle in this country can be 7-10grand whereas in czech republic it's about 4 including medication

I ttc for 2 years for DS. Tests showed I didn’t ovulate regularly, and when I did it was often very late in the month.

I bought a clear blue fertility monitor from Boots- it pinpoints your 2 day peak fertile time and we fell pregnant within 2 months using it. I have just used it again to conceive number 2 and again we fell pregnant on the second month of using it. It could be a fluke,.. but it might be worth a chance and it’s cheaper than £4K!

After TTC for 2 years and unexplained sub-fertility I was referred for a HSG to check if there were any blockages or damage in my tubes. This was the final step before being put on the waiting list for IVF. The same cycle I had the HSG, I got pregnant

The nurses say there’s quite a lot of anecdotal evidence that shows women who have a HSG (and nothing is found to be wrong) may fall pregnant afterwards as the tubes are effectively flushed out and temporarily expanded.

I paid £500 to have the HSG done (my local NHS offers it but for several months I couldn’t get an appointment on the right day of my cycle and not coincide with work commitments so I chose to go private) and it was the best £500 I ever spent!

On a separate note I had also found counselling to be very helpful to process what we were going through in TTC.

Good luck to you OP.

I'm the same as @MrsDrambuie. Pregnant the same cycle as my HSG so I assume I had a tubal blockage that it cleared out as we'd had no luck TTC, even with charting, OPKs, supplements, fertility reflexology etc and all of both of our tests were normal

I'd strongly recommend having one. It's not very pleasant but definitely worth it, whether done on the NHS or privately

What tests have been done on both of you to date and how recent were these?. Any test results over six months old now should be discounted, you need up to date test results for both of you.

You need a diagnosis first and foremost and it may well be that you will not need IVF.

People who state they have had "all" the tests done often have not so this is why I am also asking about testing. If your cycles are long in nature this could be due to a condition called PCOS; this can certainly make cycles both long and anovulatory. Charting in such circumstances is of no benefit.

You should ensure as far as possible that you understand exactly why tests are being done as well as having the results explained properly to you.

Unexplained means that they have failed to find out what is wrong and is sometimes also a "diagnosis" given to couples when they have not been adequately investigated.

A "normal" cycle is a cycle of between 21 and 35 days or with a 4 day variation from month to month.