Starting the IVF journey - anyone want to come along for the ride?

[jemimafuddleduck]

I'm so excited and have to speak to someone other than my poor husband! No one even knows we've been trying, let alone heading along the ivf route so I'm feeling quite alone in all of this. Hence my MANY posts on MN, if you've seen any of them.

We had our first clinic appointment today, which I've been nervously/excitedly waiting for.

I have high FSH (17.4), and the consultant, although absolutely LOVELY, initially made me feel like I was pretty much in menopause.

Then she scanned me and said although she couldn't see lots of follicles, it was nowhere near as bad as she had thought.

However our CCG won't do IVF unless your FSH is under 12, so I'm out... unless I have AMH over 5.5.

I had an AMH test today and will get the results in a week or two.

If the result is ok, we'll go straight to NHS IVF immediately- no waiting list!

If it's bad... there are other options and this is already a long post.

Anyone want to share and keep me company? X

Good luck for tomorrow @jemimafuddleduck I hope it goes really well. We've got our appmt on 17th. I'm also in the south west but a different CCG so hopefully ours doesn't use amh/fsh as a criteria. They are strict on the 2 yr thing for us I think though. Will find out soon enough.

Thanks @Booksandbaths1 - I bet you're counting down the days until 17th!

@jemimafuddleduck I have actually felt fine on the on the meds so far and the injections are nothing to worry about, the needles are so tiny you can barely feel them.
I have my second scan tomorrow so I am excited to see whats going on in their, lol.
They have suggested my egg collection will be on Monday, but they say they can not guarantee which day it is only an estimation depending on how you react to the drugs and obviously how the eggs are coming along.
Such an exciting time, after what feels like waiting a life time!!! Obviously this never how I planned on having children but after years of infertility it changes the way you view things.
I am based down in Surrey.
Good luck with your AMH test tomorrow, what are you expecting? xx

Ahhh that's great news @PostiveThinkingRainbow, I bet you can't wait for the scan tomorrow!

I have no idea what to expect. I guess I'm anticipating bad news - a low AMH - and having to go down the egg donation route. And I'm ok with that, so anything better is a bonus.

@jemimafuddleduck Have you watched Amanda Dawns story on you tube?
She tells her story so beautifully and gives a really detailed view of her journey to becoming a mum with donor eggs. Might be a great watch for you xxx

Ah interesting @positivethinkingrainbow I'm going to give that a watch too! I recently watched One More Shot on netflix - also follows a lady with low ovarian reserve. But a good docu regardless of ones ttc journey - well made.

@Booksandbaths1 I watched her just from a IVF point of you and found it very informative xx

So we had our appointment this morning and as expected my AMH is low (although not menopausal) at 3.4.
Our doctor said we could do self funded ivf but would have less than a 10% chance of it working.
If we go nhs funded egg donor ivf we would have a 70% chance of it working.
So we have decided to go down the egg donor route. Money aside, the thought of having to go through ivf knowing there's such a small chance of success just fills me with dread and a BFN would be really traumatic I think. It makes much more sense to go for the highest odds.
Our Dr is applying for funding for us (but believes we'll get it) and then once we're back from holiday we'll be starting pretty much straight away. We're really lucky as there's no waiting list for eggs.
Yay!

@jemimafuddleduck I'm so impressed at your and your husband's pragmatic and positive attitude and glad to hear the appmt was so useful and informative. I actually didn't even realise ivf with donor eggs was a thing you could do on the nhs. Do you know how it works as I'd be interested to find out? I wonder what the criteria and matching process is.

Hi Ladies,
Back from my second scan.
My lining is now 11mm
Follicles have got a little bigger I'm now ranging from 10mm to 15mm, they have put my Menopur down to 75 from 150 because my oestrogen blood test came back as 7500 so they don't want to risk me over stimulating. Not sure how I feel about that🤔
Apparently they are looking for at least a 2 to 3 follicles at 18mm before you do the trigger shot.
Going for another scan on Friday to see if they have grown enough.
Potential egg collection on Monday or Wednesday next week.
So not sure what to book off work😩

Hi all!how is everyone?I was wondering if many of you have told work about IVF.i told my boss because she is nice and supportive and although I will start in early November I wanted to warn her that I will have apps from now.I don't regret but I really don't want people to ask me a lot and get stressed specially because every women in the office has babies except my boss. Apart fron this my oh who is a teacher has told a few people and I didn't agree with this as he is not the one that has to inject and go to scans.Do men really need to go to many appointments?I didn't think so.he said that he wants to be honest because they will need to cover him the lessons...am I overreacting or it is normal to tell them?

Hi @Booksandbaths1 - thanks. We are both quite pragmatic people and although of course it would be amazing to have a baby with my own egg, I'm not put off by donor eggs. I will be the one growing it, my blood will be used by it, and I will give birth to it. It'll be my child. It does help that one of my closest friends was conceived herself by donor sperm and has an amazing relationship with her parents.

I don't know about the criteria exactly but if you google your local area's CCG fertility criteria that may give you the answer?

It might be worth going back to your GP and pushing to be referred maybe?

@PostiveThinkingRainbow sounds like it's all going well!! You're going to have an exciting/stressful couple of weeks ahead of you!

@Guio It's so hard isn't it. I have told my immediate manager and DH has told his. Other than that no-one else knows, and we won't tell anyone until we are either pregnant, or out of options and will not be having children. I just don't want anyone asking me how it's going. We did agree this together though and I would be annoyed if he had told anyone without agreeing it first.

@jemimafuddleduck @Guio Myself and my DH have decided not to tell anyone either, I just do not want the added pressure of people asking me questions in what is already a stressful situation. It has been difficult making excuses with work with the last min appointments but so far seem to have pulled it off.
I felt like if I booked the two weeks off work then I would of gone crazy with too much time on my hands! Also then all my holiday entitlement would have been used and if the outcome is not good I would need it to take a break or if it is positive news I would want to use it on a last adults only holiday with my DH. So hard to know whats best............!!!

Yes same I don't want to use my holiday for this and I think that I would prefer to have my mind occupied when the treatment starts.I mean if I am good enough to work.I have been reading so much and different stories and I am not very positive (I very negative normally so no reason to think that IVF will work)but I will give it a go ..

Hello Ladies,
Had my third scan today I felt there was good and bad news.
My follicles have grown a little further, so they have decided I will do the trigger on Saturday and go for egg collection on Monday.
The nurse who did the scan who was lovely said that I had fluid in my uterus which is caused by having so many follicles due to my PCOS, she also said to prepare myself that it is likely I might have to freeze any eggs this cycle as she thinks I am at a really high risk of OHSS from what she can see.
They have taken my blood again to test my oestrogen levels and will call me this afternoon with the results which will give us a better idea.
She did say that is worst case and things might change, it just all depends on my oestrogen levels.
She also said I should take sometime off after EC as OHSS develops worse in people who are not resting, oh the joy!!!
Also I have started to feel abit sicky and light headed which could be a sign of OHSS, but I am not sure if its my mind playing tricks on me as lets face it the whole thing is blimin emotional roller coaster.
So thats where I am at.

@PostiveThinkingRainbow How are you getting on? Thinking of you!

Had my EC this morning it went fine, back home now and not really in any pain.
So they collected.....28 EGGS!! No wonder I was feeling bloated.
Anything above 25 eggs the automatically say you have to freeze your eggs for this cycle and do a FET on my next cycle as I am at a really high risk of OHSS.
So I've been signed off for the week, all I'm aloud to do is drink water and my exercise is walking to and from the toilet. I have a scan on Weds and Friday for them to check me.
I can not lie I am devastated to not be able to do a fresh transfer this cycle as I was so excited to finally getting there, so the thought of having to freeze and then wait is so annoying it always feel like your waiting! So we are on the 5 day wait to see if the eggs fertilse and see if any make it to say 5!

@PostiveThinkingRainbow Wow!
Well I can totally understand your disappointment- I'm certain I would feel the same. You work yourself up to these things and I'm sure you were thinking "in 3 weeks I could have a BFP'. I would be.

But you have 28 eggs! That's amazing and at least you know that you would have plenty to play with, plus some on ice for if there's a next time xx

Wow @PostiveThinkingRainbow Was there any indication that you'd produce so many eggs like AMH? Xxx

I did have a very high AMH so it was always something they said could happen but it is just typical that I have to go to freeze and wait.
I'm so upset as it means I'm going to have to wait another couple of months, waiting waiting waiting 🙄🙄🙄
Just nervously waiting for the clinic to call to let us know if any eggs have fertilised

I can imagine that's really frustrating for you @PostiveThinkingRainbow On the plus side, we keep hearing that it's a numbers game and you've definitely scored high there. I hope the disappointment that you're feeling right now soon turns into happiness xx

Fingers crossed for good news in the fertilisation front @positivethinkingrainbow It does appear to be a numbers game so you're in a good position despite the ohss delay. I must say I'm a bit worried about having my cycle cancelled or nothing to transfer as my amh is 5 so easily could end up with only a couple of eggs at best. But I want to give it a shot with my own eggs first. Thank you btw for the recommendation of Amanda Dawn on YouTube - she's incredible. So dh and I are thinking about not telling folk about ivf. Is that strange? My 2 close friends (both live abroad) will know but not my mum or sis etc. I can't handle the thought of all the questions and ill placed but well meaning advice. I feel guilty for not disclosing to my mum but also feel I just need to do what feels right for me. Any thoughts?

@Booksandbaths1 I love Amanda Dawn, she's fab!

We haven't told a soul about our issues, other than our bosses as we need time off. But no-one else.

It's not anyone else's business apart from ours, and I don't want people constantly asking how it's going. I either want to be able to tell them that I'm pregnant (in which case I will tell them about the ivf) or that we are infertile and will not be able to get pregnant so please never ask me again!!

We've told close family and friends because we need the support tbh but are not telling them when we're starting etc so we don't get asked any questions.

My DH has told work as his job is complicated getting time off.

I'm planning to tell my employer that I'll need to take some flexi in the mornings on the week of my scans and then will need to book some lat minute leave due to supporting my mum with medical appointments.

I'm hoping that gets me through the first round and then maybe plan to take some sickness absence for the second with a note from my GP if we need to do a second round (which I'm expecting).

Have started to feel very anxious about it all over the last few days. Considering having a MN detox to try to clear my brain of IVF thoughts but it's all consuming isn't it?!

Hi, I have been told my boss and she is very supportive so I feel lucky in that way I can say the same from my parents.I live far from them, as they are in a different country but since I told them they don't want to hear anything else or they change conversation so I have decided to stop saying anything else.Is this a normal reaction?I just think that they are disappointed or it is something that they are not used to?