Another baby shower invite 😩

[Sunshine19]

Hiya! Badly needing advice about the above? Got invited today and the thought of going just fillls me with complete sadness. My work colleague is a good friend but I’ve had to sit and listen with a smile on my face all about the conception, not really trying for a baby and BAM! Pregnant straight away 🙄 not to mention sore boobs, twinges blah blah... I’m really happy all has worked out for her but struggling with infertility and the way I feel right now I’d rather eat bees than be playing baby games and playing along with the baby chat 😩 anyone got any good advice? Really don’t want to hurt her feelings.

I hear you. Don't go. Don't put yourself through it. You're happy for her, you wish her well. There will be plenty of other people to do the cheerleading for her. You need to take care of yourself

There’s nothing wrong in doing what’s right for you. Leave the invite open, perhaps, on the day do what you feel most comfortable with. If you do choose to go, maybe limit it to an hour and have ‘somewhere to be’ just after. That ‘somewhere’ should be a treat - perhaps a shiny new manicure or a good film at the cinema. I feel your pain though. Take care.

Pull a sickle?

Don't go. I have declined many of these invitations. You need to look after yourself and not put yourself through it. They'll be enough people there for her, you don't need to put yourself through it.

I would say I'm away that weekend but "would love to take you for lunch another day instead"

You don't need to go and she will understand. I have done the same in similar circumstances. Look after you first. Xx

I would be honest. "Sorry but I won't be able to make it. We've been struggling with infertility for a while now and to be honest, I just don't think I could handle a baby shower at the moment. I am genuinely very happy for you etc".

Don’t go.
I didn’t go to my best friends baby shower due to having plans but I don’t think I could have gone even I wasn’t busy. It would have been too hard.

Personally I'd go with what @seven201 said

D&v. So sorry. Can't risk making the pregnant lady ill.

Don't go, there isn't much worse than a baby shower when you're battling infertility. Stay at home and neck a bottle of prosecco in front of the telly instead.

I think this whole baby shower thing is another ridiculous import from America.
Do not inflict this crap on yourself, just say you are unable to go.

My SIL had a baby shower in March and at that point we'd been struggling for near 5 years and were awaiting a start date for IVF. I just said it was nothing personal but I didn't agree with baby showers and for my own personal reasons wouldn't be attending. We struggle enough with feelings and emotions around infertility and TTC without inflicting events like baby showers on ourselves, sometimes you just have to be selfish. Take care

Don't go. Be busy that day.

Glad you all understand and thank you for your replies! She was there when I had MC and knows were waiting on IVF but I think she’s a bit thick sometimes and doesn’t get the struggle tbh! I totally agree about the silly ness of a baby shower and my sister isn’t far behind my friends due date and mums now talking about one too 🙄
Yeah I think a sickie could be a shout. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but you all seem to know it’s not what we need right now when we’re struggling with the ordeal of infertility. Thanks again for your replies! Support means a lot xox

I think if your friend knows what you are going through she will completely understand that a baby shower is the last thing you would want to attend right now. I wouldn’t go I avoided all of these things and my friends understood. Do what’s best for you xx

I am constantly skipping these baby events. Always too busy ;) self preservation is important and I just can't deal with having my infertility rubbed in my face. It's shitty but it's helped me get through this.

Best not to go. You need to put your feelings first xx