frustration and temper boiling over

[thisisouryrfx18]

Ive been suffering really bad with my temper after 3yrs of ttc and still no bfp! I feel like every mnth af comes round its getting worse..just wondering if im the only one? I think the feeling of being so helpless to control my own life is a major factor and obvs gettin older doesnt help i never thought id be this age and still be childless!

Hi - I’ve been feeling this way too. Unfortunately I don’t know what to suggest to help (otherwise I’d try and take my own advice!) but just wanted to let you know you are absolutely not alone.

In terms of practical advice have you been to your GP and kicked off any fertility tests? They can take some time to complete from start to end but they did help me feel that I was taking control of the situation so helped in a strange way I guess.

@Blankspace yh my bloods came back normal OH s SA is normal we now have to wait to c a gynaeo for the nxt step. Thanks for letting me know im not the only one feel like im cracking up sometimes. Maybe its a side effect of depression. I think the constant waiting to do pg tests and waiting to see docs adds to it i feel everything is soo bloody slow! Where r u in your investigations?

I completely understand where you are coming from. I have had my first appointments at the fertility clinic and must say it feels much better once they set out a plan for you and you have a bit more to work towards than just month to month. It’s certainly given me a bit of a reset. I hope you get your plan soon. It’s also allowed me to get back on top of my lifestyle, diet etc which was dropping a bit before I had more direction so that’s making me feel a bit better too.

@mouse1234567 thanx yh i feel like my diet/exercise has slipped cause im totally losing motivation i feel like whats the point everything i try is pointless nothing works..when we 1st started ttc i stopped drinking completely took vits everyday exercised ate healthy i wouldnt even take a paracetamol! Lol OH has been doing great with healthy living as i said i think im just getting depressed but i dnt want to go back on anti depressants

I just cant help but feel life isnt fair im a gd person i try to b nice to ppl(when my temper isnt raging)

Focus on your next appts and see them as a plan for progress. I’m also trying to plan little treats with my partner like weekends away or nice holidays (whilst we still can...fingers crossed) but it’s not really helping with the despair

@Blankspace4 ive tried all that but i just feel like i dnt get enjoyment out of most things i used to..despair is accurate

Unfortunately what's actually happening is that you're grieving and anger is very common in grief/ bereavement. It might help to have a few counselling sessions which could help you explore those feelings. I know it helped me a bit - not that I didn't feel the feelings, but I understood a bit where they were coming from and why they are there.

Big hugs. It is shit.

Thanks @physicskate how r u hun? ur right im grieving for a life that i want but cant have..i just feel like giving up on ttc but i know i cant i want it too much. I feel trapped! Im stuck in this cycle of misery gettin my hopes up then the downward spiral when af shows up. I honestly feel soo helpless

I feel like this, and it’s ‘only’ been a year for me. The anger has really ramped up lately - all of my close friends have either just had a baby or are now pregnant and I feel so lonely and bitter. My bloods came back clear, waiting on DH’s appointment.

The idea of grieving is really apt actually, I hadn’t thought about it like that. I find that the constant disappointment of TTC feels like a broken promise.

@CoffeeWithMyOxygen im so glad im not the only one who feels this way its as if we re allowed to feel upset and cry but no one really talks about the frustration from the constant dissapointment. Im the same i have another family member due nxt mnth and a friend announced theyr pregnant on social media yest..it feels like life is passing us by doesnt it? And the scary thing is we cant do anything. I know i sound like im throwing a pity party but im soo sick of it!

Everything/everyone is gettin on my nerves atm

@thisisouryrfx18 I know exactly what you mean about life passing by. I love travelling the world but have found myself thinking lately ‘what’s the point if I won’t have any children to tell about it?’ I just find myself not really caring about anything, it’s like life is on hold. And I find it so hard not to get angry when people say things like ‘it’ll be your turn soon’ because actually - it might not be! Friend after friend has got pregnant in the time we’ve been trying so it’s clearly not our bloody turn is it?

@CoffeeWithMyOxygen yh there are no guarentees and that really scares me even if we were to give up and look into adoption thats such a long proccess! Its not like i woke up and wanted a kid yest ive been wanting this for about 8yrs now 3yrs ttc..i completely understand what ur going through ppl want to wave a magic wand and make u feel better or maybe they dnt know what to say to us but empty comments like that dnt help. Im worried im becoming bitter..

Another fun family event ruined by invasive questions i give up!

Oh this People can be such insensitive asses. We’re on holiday this week, so naturally AF turned up. Feels like it’ll never happen sometimes. At the airport DH said without thinking ‘Aw, nice to see lots of families off on their holidays!’ and it just made me feel so sad that we don’t have one.

@CoffeeWithMyOxygen me n oh were off work the other wk and decided to go to the park had a little petting zoo, i love anjmals n fot it would cheer me up. But as u said kids everywhere bad idea but i feel like everywhere we go everythjng we do is the same, im the same on hols i just imagine how much more fun itd b taking our kid swimming to theme parks or on the beach its lonely when its just the 2 of you in a way.