Miscarriage after IVF

[Smizzlediz]

Just wondering if anyone else is or has been in the same boat?

I was over the moon to find our first cycle had worked but miscarried last week at 5 1/2 weeks. I’m now trying really hard not to fall into a pit of doomy thinking that it will never work for us.

I’d especially love to hear any success stories after ivf and a miscarriage!

Sorry for your loss. No advice to give, I'm afraid, but bumping this for you.

Sorry you had a miscarriage - there's nothing worse. We had a successful 1st round of IVF, 1 BFN and 2 BFPs with miscarriages at 5-6 weeks. I could cope with the BFN, but found the miscarriages very hard. The only thing we could think of, and the consultant confirmed, was that my eggs weren't always fantastic quality - even when reaching 5 day blastos. I'm 38 and seem to get a good amount of eggs fertilising and reaching 5 days, but only to miscarry later down the line. We decided it was a numbers game and to go for it again. Currently at 5w+4 and although this is definitely the hardest time (it's already been the longest week of my life and it's not over yet!), I do feel like we're giving it a good shot. I hope we both have happy endings!

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been through it twice, it really is absolutely horrible. I’m not anywhere near trying again (still getting BFPs nearly 2 weeks later) but already the thought of having to get through the 5-6 week mark makes me feel sick. I have all fingers and toes crossed that you have a happy ending this time 🤞🏼🤞🏼

I like your thought about it being a numbers game, I hope that’s true for us too. We have 3 more embryos in the freezer, hopefully one of those little ones will work for us! I have an irrational worry that if one of the embryos from the last cycle was abnormal then maybe the others will be too, but I don’t think there’s any real evidence for that.

Did your consultant suggest trying anything different after your losses or was it just a case of keep on trying? Also, do you mind me asking how long it took your cycle to go back to normal?

Thank you for replying, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone but it is nice to talk to someone who has been through it.

Yes this exact thing happened to me, apparently it’s quite common to lose at the 5 week mark (hope that’s not unnecessarily upsetting) but then on our next try a couple of months later, it stuck and I had an easy healthy pregnancy and now have a 6 month old daughter.

Ah thank you Monkeypuzzle, your story gives me so much hope. I really hope this happens to us too!

Congratulations on your daughter!

3 more embryos sounds really positive, Smizzlediz, but I also dreaded trying again (whilst at the same time desperately wanting to try again!). At 38, I'm starting to feel like time is of the essence, so we've gone the whole hog this time and paid for 3 rounds up front through Access Fertility (plus any resulting frozen transfers).

Our consultant did refer us to Coventry for a uNK cell test, to see if this would explain the miscarriages, but the tests came back fine. Professor Brosens in Coventry seemed to think embryos are either 'good or bad' - his words - and most are in fact 'bad', so the body is right to 'get rid' of them. Since then, we've had endometrial scratches before transfers (for the latest BFN and the this BFP). I don't know if this made the difference, but it was the first time we'd had a BFN and I was weirdly pleased that my body had rejected the embryo earlier rather than having to suffer a loss at 5 weeks. The consultant wanted one normal period before we could start again on the next try.

Will you be aiming to try a frostie asap? What timings has your consultant given you? It may be worth asking your consultant about the scratch in the meantime?

Thanks Smizzle, we also had a round of IVF that didn’t work at all plus other complications but I’m still amazed it worked-I hope it does for you too, I would say if you are self funding go to a private clinic not an NHS one

@smizzlediz found this thread after a very similar experience to yours: no heartbeat at a 7-week scan after our first successful ivf cycle. It feels so cruel and I'm struggling so much at the moment and like @notpastaagain swinging wildly between never wanting to go through this again and feeling an urgent need to get back out there. I know this thread is not new and I hope you are all feeling better and stronger at this point. Any words of hope for me as to when this pain will let up would be much appreciated.

Ahh I’m so sorry for your loss, it is the crappest of times 💕

I felt really really low for a few weeks after and really torn between wanting to try again and being so scared to go through it again.

It took about 2 weeks for me to stop getting positive pregnancy tests (felt like a punch in the face every time) and my period came back after 6 weeks. One of my friends who had had an early miscarriage said she used ovulation tests the next month to try and get some idea what was going on inside, I did this too and did feel better after a positive one as I felt like my body at least was getting back to normal.

We tried again on the next cycle and we’re very lucky that it worked again but this has been the most anxious few weeks of my life, especially as I had bleeding/spotting on and off all last week. Amazingly we had our 6 week scan yesterday and saw a heartbeat so I am keeping all fingers and toes crossed that this little one will make it 🤞🏼

I think everything people say about miscarriages is true- they are common, it is good that you got pregnant and things can be different in the future 💗 Unfortunately I know this is really little reassurance when you’re in the middle of it.

Another thing I did was bought myself a little heart shaped ring to represent our little dot that wasn’t meant to be, I wanted an actual thing I could hold to remember them.

I think this post has just been a stream of consciousness but I hope some of it’s helpful. Have your clinic been helpful? Do you know what your next step will be?

good news Smizzlediz fingers fully crossed for you both

Thank you so much for your post Smizzlediz. That is a really hope-filled story and it makes me feel better to know that good things can happen after bad. Did you have another ivf cycle to get pregnant again or was it a natural pregnancy? Either way, fantastic for you and I really hope you get only good news from here on in.

I got pregnant after three years of trying, second ivf cycle. We found out at a 7 week scan that it was all over, but haven't actually had a miscarriage yet so I'm in a horrible limbo. I feel like everyone who knows is saying the wrong thing (is there a right thing to say?) and I'm alternating between attempted positivity and total depression.

We have three frozen embryos left so I guess our next step is to transfer those but as I said, I am terrified that this is going to turn into a string of losses, which is not the attitude, I know. Our clinic hasn't said much aside from that it was probably down to chromosomal abnormality and that we can try again once I get my period after this, which feels impossibly far away (and will probably be months, knowing my cycles). I was using ovusense to keep track of things before ivf so maybe I'll go back to that.

Oh that fear that it will be a string of losses is so real, I have cried so many tears worrying about this- even though I know (it turns out!) lots of people who have had one miscarriage and then a healthy pregnancy.

I think clinics are quite matter of fact, mine was too and also said ours was probably a chromosomal abnormality. I guess they must see this pretty often and can’t really appreciate the fear it brings. The limbo must be awful, have you been given options for what will happen next or just told to wait it out? I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this nightmare 🙁

We had a second FET for this little one and after seeing it’s heartbeat yesterday I am really trying to think positive and I do feel better for the first time in a while 🤞🏼

I think the problem is there’s nothing to be done but keep going and that is so so hard. You’re definitely not alone 💕

Thank you both for your good wishes btw! 😊

Oh I do so hope it will work for you. A positive six-week scan is such a great start. Well done for carrying on - I know well how much strength it must have taken.

I know everyone says miscarriage is so common but it feels particularly cruel when you've had to go through ivf to get that far, and also particularly ominous. But I need to think of it as just bad luck and nothing more, not indicative of any terrible, unsolvable problem.

The clinic said we could wait for two weeks and if nothing happens, we can take the pills and if they don't work, go for the surgery. Can I ask what your experience was (although I understand if you'd rather not talk about it)? I really just want it all to be over so that we can focus on moving on but I am also slightly hoping it happens naturally. Not sure why really.

Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot in these dark days! ❤️

Hi @NBparis

I'm so sorry to hear what you are currently going through.

It's a very personal decision on what approach you want to take. I had a missed miscarriage in June this year. For me I had a private scan at 11 and a half weeks because I just knew something wasn't right and found out I had missed misscariage that may have happened about two weeks beforehand.

When I went to the epu they gave me my options and I decided that I would do the surgery as I couldn't face going through it naturally or using tablets. That night I went through it naturally, was quite painful and lost quite a lot of big clots. I didn't look at anything I just closed my eyes and put everything in the bin. I still went into hospital on the day of surgery as I wasn't too sure I had passed everything as I was still bleeding (4 days later). They rescanned me and the sac had passed but I still had a few clots which They recommended taking tablets for. These produced quite painful cramps and a day of intense bleeding and then it was just spotting for a week.

Looking back I am glad it happened naturally but if I had found out when it first happened I don't think I could of waited two weeks or however long it would take for it to happen naturally I would of wanted the surgery or tablets so I could draw a line under it and grieve. Now I have gone through it I wouldn't have the surgery as I know I'm strong enough to deal with the physically aspects even as hard it as it was. However, either naturally or tablets surgery may still be a possibility if your body doesn't expel all of what it needs to.

Thanks for your message @Emsie1987. I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope you are doing well now.

It's really helpful to hear of other people's experiences. I am away from home at the moment, as we felt we needed a break from it all, so we can't go back on our decision to wait. I am hopeful that it will happen naturally soon as the waiting is painful but I'm ready for whatever we need to do while also hoping it doesn't become an emergency.

I think you’re right, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is terribly wrong though I know it’s hard to hold onto that at times. My understanding is ivf doesn’t change the likelihood of miscarriage, weirdly that makes me feel a bit better- we’ve been through so much crap to get pregnant but when we are we’re just the same as everyone else. I don’t know why I find that reassuring!

My experience was quite drawn out... I had some bleeding on a Thursday at exactly 5 weeks, it eased on the Friday and I had a blood test that came back with the right levels but then I started bleeding more heavily on the Saturday. I ended up having to go to A&E to get a referral to the early pregnancy unit, I was seen by a gynaecologist in A&E who said my cervix was still closed and bleeding can be normal but to come back for a scan on the Sunday. In the scan they could see a yolk sack but it was too early for a heartbeat, they also sounded positive about the chances of things being ok. Then on Sunday evening I started getting really heavy cramping, I ended up going back to A&E because I didn’t know what to do with myself. I think because so many people had said things were ok but everything I was feeling was telling me it wasn’t. In the end they gave me codeine and we came home, then I miscarried the next morning.

I sort of wish someone early on had said- this could be ok but it may also be a miscarriage, take the painkillers home to take if it gets really uncomfortable and wait it out.

Sorry that is such a saga, I hope there is something in it that is useful to you, even if it is just to hear from someone who has come out the other side.

One thing that my clinic said was that if you have the surgical procedure it can have a similar effect to an endometrial scratch for the next cycle, so I guess there are pros and cons whichever way it has to happen?

This whole thing is a horrible nightmare and the crappy limbo land must be so so hard, but one thing I know is it will get better 💕

Oh god, that sounds really traumatic. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It must have been such a shock to be told it was fine and then have it not be fine. I'm still really hoping it happens while we're away just to draw a line under it but it is cheering to hear that the surgery might help for next time, if it comes to that.

I can't help clinging to your story as one very similar to mine which has a positive end. Did you do anything in particular in between the miscarriage and this positive pregnancy test? I'm always longing for someone to confidently tell me they attribute their pregnancy to a certain vitamin or habit so that I can enthusiastically take that up, even though I know most of these things are probably just coincidence. Anything for the feeling of control, however false it may be!

By the way, I can't imagine how difficult and anxious the early days of pregnancy must be after a miscarriage. I hope your positive six week scan is bringing you comfort and I have everything crossed for you that this is it. ❤️

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I think IVF feels like a numbers game from the start and you don't ever relax or feel in control. It's nothing you do wrong throughout but that doesn't help. We had IVF over a very long period and i was pregnant with twins after a successful round of IVF, I felt very positive and heard their heartbeats but sadly at our 12 week scan was told that there was only one baby left - I was on tenterhook throughout but had a beautiful baby girl. 5 yrs later and we were pregnant with twins again and i miscarried one of the twins after 5 weeks but when on to have a son. My son is 5 tomorrow and my daughter will be 10 in a few weeks. I hope that this offers some hope to you. My best wishes for you!

I haven’t had to have ivf. I was the wrong side of 35, smoked, high pressure job, drank like a fish, never had time to relax, ate the wrong things at the wrong times ........but DH only had to come near me and I fell pregnant. Two miscarriages (8 wk and 10 wk) , one nearly FT still birth later I didn’t think I would ever get a healthy baby.
DD was born 49 weeks after my stillborn baby, at 35weeks. All the way through my pregnancy with her I didn’t let myself believe that it would all turn out how I wanted it. Every day was a day ticked off to get to my goal. Every week felt like a massive achievement. I didn’t let myself dream.
It’s the hardest thing sometimes trying to do the most natural thing in the world - to be a mother. Keep believing. I hope with all of my heart that all of you get that healthy baby that you do desire. I am filled with hope that you will all be rewarded. Keep positive and talk to your baby- no matter how teeny tiny they are. Your voice is what they hear and hold onto xx

Thank you everyone, there are lots of stories of hope on this thread 💕

NBparis the last few weeks have been so stressful, but seeing the heartbeat on Monday has really helped. There is nothing I can do about what happens from now on but I can sort of picture that little heartbeat and keep my fingers crossed!

I didn't really do anything differently for this one. If I'm honest I find all the reams of information about what you should/shouldn't eat or do quite stressful and often contradictory! I have been trying to eat plenty of protein and fruit and veg but other than that I've carried on as normal, I take pregnacare vitamins but no other supplements.

The other thing I guess is that if they were chromosonal then our miscarriages must have been bad luck, so if the embryo implanted then what you did the first time worked for you and for an embryo that is 'normal' then that would be enough!

I hope you're managing to enjoy your time away in spite of all the emotional and physical craziness going on 💕

This thread has been so helpful for me in what is a pretty miserable time. Thanks everyone for your stories and posts.

I know what you mean, @Smizzlediz, about conflicting advice on what to do. I drove myself crazy for a long time going on various unproven diets just in case. Your take on the miscarriage being just bad luck is very comforting although also makes me panic that I can't remember exactly what I did the last time (can you tell I tend towards anxiety?!).

Anyway, I wish you all the best with your little bean. You're so right to visualise and be positive. I hope so much I'll be joining you in pregnancy land soon again although it's probably too soon to hope that given that I'm still in the depths of this one. 😐

I’m rubbish at the diets if it makes you feel any better, they seem to be 90% avacado and eggs and I can’t stand either of those! 😝

I’ve got all fingers and toes crossed that things go as well as possible for you too 🤞🏼 I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to or stress at. Take care 💕