TTC no 2 for over two years - is it time to do something and if so what - advice needed please!

[MouseBatMummy]

Hello everyone

First off, I'm sorry if it's insensitive to post on the infertility board when we already have a daughter, but I'm new to this and am starting to wonder if this is a case of secondary infertility from what I have read on mumsnet and elsewhere. If anyone has a moment I'd appreciate advice or reading about anyone who is or has been in a similar situation.

DD is 2.5 and we basically started trying for a second baby straight away as have always wanted a big family and figured didn't have time to waste - I'm 34. Took 8 months to conceive our daughter and ended up with a semi urgent c section after a failed induction at 38 weeks due to growth scans showing she was small ( arrived at a healthy 5lbs 2oz in the end so not too tiny)

Have spent the last two years trying to be laidback thinking it'll happen when it happens etc - I'm not one for ovulation sticks etc as just figured another bfp would cone along sooner or later as obvs we managed with our DD.

But..,it's been two years. And my laidback attitude is getting less laidback and I'm finding it harder as all my friends are on their second or third and I'm wondering - is something wrong? My periods are regular - but could there be a complication from my c section that I do t know about that is causing us problems?

What is first step - do we go to Gp and ask to be referred for investigation? Not sure what we would/wouldn't be willing to do to conceive a second child but I think I could handle it better if I knew if there was a problem.

God sorry for the length of this - thank you if you've stayed with me.

We were in the same boat as you (though it took us 2 years to conceive our DD so I always had at the back of my mind that it might not be easy either a second time round).

We went to our GP and said we'd been trying for 2 years without success. She was very supportive and said that given the length of time we'd been trying, and the fact that I wasn't getting any younger, she thought there was no point in delaying investigations. Although the NHS won't pay for IVF if you already have a child, they did pay for us to have the hormonal blood tests (to check ovulation) and semen analysis, for an appointment with a consultant, and for a HyCoSy scan for me (at the end of which the consultant then referred us to the fertility clinic, and we ended up paying privately for IVF that route).

So I would say it's definitely worth getting checked out. It's possible that something has changed that you need to know about (or that there was always an issue that you never knew about and just got lucky last time round). Even if it hasn't and they come back saying 'everything looks completely fine', just knowing that is useful. But if there is some reason why you might not be able to get pregnant naturally, much better to know about it so you can make a decision about what you want to do (even if that's accepting that you don't want fertility treatment and that you will just have the one child).

Thanks rainylake
Did you end up conceiving after your round of ivf? I hope it worked out for you.

We've been to see our Gp this morn as figured no point delaying further and same experience as you, she was great and very supportive - we are being referred for the tests and then I guess we'll see the lay of the land and take it from there.

Hi @MouseBatMummy.

I've had a positive pregnancy test after my round of IVF so fingers crossed - at the moment I'm waiting for an early scan to check that everything really is okay, so it's too soon to be excited but so far things have gone well. I do have 4 frozen embryos from the IVF cycle, so if this pregnancy doesn't work out, at least I don't have to start over.

Glad that your GP was helpful and hopefully you'll get some answers or reassurance from the tests.

Hi there, we are in exactly the same position. I have a 3.5 year old. Have spent two years trying for another. We are currently going through the IVF process and egg collection is due this week. Fingers crossed this cycle works for us

We went to our GP and as @rainylake says, lots of tests done (semen analysis, bloods, HyCoSy as well). Ultimately it was unexplained secondary infertility. We didn't want to wait any longer as I am 38.

I would also recommend getting checked out at the docs first x

Hi hope yous dnt mind me dropping in ladies..im in a similiar situation but ttc dc#1 this has been goin for on n off 2.5yrs now. I recently started temping and using opks both showed i ovulate so fx thats the case, but now im worrying about oh sperm, or even worse unknown infertility. I was cautious about posting on here cause i havent been to gp yet but need some support from ladies in a similiar position(and some hand holding) lol. Sorry rant over dont me to rattle on about myself but i completely get the fear of the unknown and taking the 1st step into investigations is terrifying!

Fingers crossed for those of you going through ivf.

We've been referred by Gp for first round of tests so just waiting for appt to come through. I feel better for taking the first step, at least feel like we are doing something - even though nothing has actually happened yet

@thisisouryrfx18 welcome - what is it that is stopping you going to your gp? Is it fear of what you could potentially discover? Our doc was very supportive and remember you're not signing up to anything just by having some initial investigation. Ultimately I think I'd rather know than not if there's a problem. Good luck - keep us posted

@MouseBatMummy im just scared to find out what the problem is i was initially worried i didnt ovulate. But according to temping and opks i do, now im beginning to worry is it oh and potential harder to treat or worse still no known cause. Im just scared they do tests and say its a mystery we dnt know how to help u

Well, they might say that... but there's a good chance they might be readily able to diagnose a treatable problem. I know it's scary, but do try to get along to the doctor's - it's really worth doing.