Defeated

[Bubblegum89]

Has anyone else just given up?

After 20 months of ttc with unexplained infertility, I seem to have hit a wall. I just feel like I’ve been defeated, that I just want to stop now. I’ve thrown away my opks. I just feel like it’s pointless. I’m looking ahead to my life with no new baby in it because I genuinely can’t see me ever being pregnant.

We were going to look into IVF in the autumn but I’m not even interested in it anymore. So much money for such little guarantee. I feel like ttc has drained me and I just can’t do it anymore.

I feel like quitting after so long means I’ve wasted almost two years of my life with nothing to show for it but I also feel like I could continue trying for 3,4,5 years and STILL have nothing to show for it. Has anyone else got to a point where they’re ready to just throw in the towel?

I'm so sorry you feel this badly about it sweetheart. It sucks doesn't it when you make the step from TTC to considering infertility.

Look the truth is, IVF is really fucking hard work. I honestly didn't realise how bad it was going to be when I started. I'm not 100% sure if I'd really have started if I'd known how bad it was going to be.

I don't think you're in the right place for it at the moment. You've got a lovely holiday booked for this summer don't you? Why not go, have fun, get drunk and make a decision when you come back and you're feeling more resilient?

Hey @Bubblegum89 ,

I haven't felt like giving up but I have certainly felt that there is no point as it will never happen. I'm just waiting for the outcome of cycle 2 ivf and still feel like it will never happen (to be fair we've been told our chances are very slim too despite being in my early 30s) but I know I will need to feel like I did everything possible. I don't want to ever look back on this and have any regrets. For me also childlessness is not an option - everyone is different though. I know I'll be a Mum one day, I hope it's win mine and DH's genetics but the further down the journey I get the more open I am to other options.

Sorry just turned into me waffling! I guess my coping strategies are consoling me that I'll be a mum someday, somehow and that I am giving it my all.

Xx

Hey si1ver I think that I just want it to be over now. I have my DD and I’m very lucky to have her, maybe I should just quit while I’m ahead. Just fed up of all the upset and disappointment. I do kind of just want to live my life and try and push the want for a baby to the back of my mind. In terms of IVF, I see so many women who go through cycle after cycle spending so much money and nothing happens for them, I can’t shake the idea that that would end up being us and we simply can’t afford multiple cycles. I think you’re right about me not being in the right place at the moment. It’s becoming all I am and I don’t want that to be me. Sorry to hear you’re finding ivf hard, I really hope it’s worth it for you in the end!

hoping I’m lucky that I have a DD already from a previous relationship and although she’s far from a baby (she’s almost 10) I wouldn’t be childless should I decide to give up. I worry that I spend so much time obsessing over ttc that she’s not getting all the attention she deserves. Good luck with your ivf results :)

In a word.... yes. Just seems completely pointless and I have seen the heartbreak my bf has had through ivf.