Jealousy... advice on getting over it ?

[Snowrose92]

Me and my OH have being trying for some time, though found out a lady in my office is pregnant, one night stand, wasn't planned. She's the same age as me and I keep getting very emotional when I think about it. The whole office is now discussing babies, and I do badly want to be pregnant. I know I'm being silly, but it keeps making me get teary. I am very happy for her as she is a friend, but then I think I'm jealous that we are having to jump through so many hoops and a one off gets her pregnant. I'm having to loose weight be put on the medication (1stone down 1 to go) and it frustrates the hell at me that she's bigger and get the gift that was never wanted.

Someone slap me back to reality but need advice to survive these next 9 months.

I'm sorry OP, it's shit and will probably continue to be. If it wasn't her then you'd hear about someone else. When we were ttc it seemed like it was happening for everyone apart from us.
I think until it happens for you there will always be some jealousy because of how much you want it, which isn't what you want to hear I know. Good luck

How long have you been trying for? Are you having to seek help in order to get pregnant?
Sorry you're feeling bad about this, but maybe you need to reframe your thinking a bit to help you through. Unless you've had to investigate infertility and have been TTC for long enough for this to become necessary, I wouldn't worry too much about the time it's taking.

I imagine it's not all a bed of roses being pregnant from a one night stand. Maybe she's finding it difficult too, in a different way.

I know where you are coming from. 2 girls in my office just announced they are pregnant and best friend gave birth to her second child this morning.
It is so hard

You don't need a slap - infertility is horrid and you are entitled to be as jealous, bitter and anything else you want to be. It may not be healthy, but sometimes it is what gets you through.

I often feel the same way and completely understand how you feel.

I have had two people this year tell me how in both cases they are now pregnant with #3 by 'accident' (one fell a week before her husband was having the snip!).

I would say to try to avoid her and the baby talk as much as you can (if you work together it is difficult) and try to stay as strong as you can. If you can't stay strong, vent x

Don't pressurise yourself and demand you feel guilty for your jealousy. It's very natural. It's unfair. It's not like if you worked hard at a job promotion for ages and someone accidentally applied for it with no experience of your hard work, didn't want it but took it anyway you'd demand yourself to overcome being annoyed they got it and cheer them on.

However if you find something works - let me know. I suppose I just manage my jealousy by practicing my acting skills IRL and I sob in private and vent on MN.

You do not need slapping back to reality - it’s completely ok to feel like this. Are you able to escape the office when the baby chat starts? Go to a photocopier elsewhere or make a drink, etc?
I find myself jealous at some people but not at others. I’ve had a loss recently and as a result will struggle to conceive (PGD IVF appears to be the only route). I find myself jealous of people like your colleague who conceived quickly, but happy for those who ‘deserve’ a baby, like those who have been struggling to conceive. That might sound awful, I know.
You’re allowed to feel however you do.
Be kind to yourself, OP.