Ever get the feeling they have no idea

[AniSL]

I am really beginning to question whether fertility experts are just winging it and don’t truly understand fertility and the body.
We get advice about AMH/LH and hormones and weight and diet and blah blah blah. Then you find women who are overweight, eat like shit, 42 year old women, alcoholics, heroin addicted working girls who eating once a day of scrap food, they are all flipping pregnant but still the ‘experts’ insist that losing weight and normalising hormones and eating right and pre-conception tablets are the only way to go.
We are told to eat a concoction of pre conception vitamins to help, later a study shows it increases chances of miscarriage. Men shouldn’t cycle because it decreases fertility then we are told it has no negative impact. Age old theory that we are born with all the eggs we will ever have, then a study finds that this may not be wholly true either.
All I can think is WTF

Ani

I agree that it's so frustrating there isn't more hardcore evidence. So much is left to chance or each doctor's personal experience. You can get completely different advice depending on which clinic you go to and who you see. It feels like a lottery to whether you find someone who can actually help you. I don't think it's the doctors fault though, each person is so different there is just an element of luck. I do think they should be upfront about what they don't actually know.

As far as losing weight, etc goes I saw a fertility nutritionist give a talk and they showed some diagrams of hormone systems, immune systems, etc (attached) and they are super complex. She basically said that most people will have a few problems somewhere in there, but there is a tipping point where too many problems = infertility. So while many people who are overweight, eat crap etc get pregnant, for those of us who can't it is about maximising chances. If we try and sort out a couple of problems then it might edge us back into the 'able to conceive' group. I'm trying to lose weight too and this has helped me to accept how seemingly unfair it is that I'm unable to get pregnant when just a bit overweight compared to people who are quite overweight.

I've decided it's all hocus pocus!

I got told my AMH is low but then got loads of eggs and then in my follow up was told AMH is a bit of a rubbish test and if they rechecked it it'd probably be quite different. Then started talking about PCOS despite non of my blood tests supporting it and no clinical signs of it and a low AMH?!? Wtf?!

But of course we are all desperate and will try anything

Yes!! I was incorrectly diagnosed with Pcos by two doctors and put on the wrong drugs. No one can tell me why I had an ectopic or why it’s not working despite everything looking good. From reading up on immunes and NK cells and different treatment protocols, it really does seem that a lot is trial and error and you really just need luck on your side!!
Xx

I’ve been told there’s nothing wrong with either of us and to keep trying and it’ll happen. It’s not happened in 18 months. There’s obviously a problem but once they’ve finished their investigations, that’s then, in their eyes you’re fine. Which is okay for them to say buy clearly we’re not fine!