DH scared it could be him

[CoconutGal]

DH & I have talked about him booking an appointment to see his GP & get his sperm tested. Initially DH was ok with this, then a few days later he confessed he was scared it was him that was the problem & he just didn't want to be told that it was. I feel bad for being so involved with conception & making sure we're both ok. I feel like I've pushed him to get tested. 😞 It might be nothing but it could be something, he's just not comfortable knowing. How do we get past this?

You could try the whole, but we're in this together so if something is wrong with either of us, it's both of us. Also you could try, if we know, something can be done about it. Or, what if it isn't you?

My DH put off being tested for ages, and i went through all tests first. I figured as i was the one pushing for it, it was only fair. Turned out we had MFI after all, but once we had a diagnosis, he could get treated & we could move onto ICSI/IVF. Now, my DH feels really bad that i went through invasive test after test for no reason, and we wasted time doing further investigations on me, when his test was so simple & fast & got us the answers we needed.
If you dont test, you might never know what the issue is, and miss what could be an obvious solution.

I don’t know if it helps, but our GP did some basic tests for both of us at the same time, so we both went through it together. Have your already had some tests? If not, we booked a double appointed to see our GP (on a Saturday morning, so no pressure around work). So maybe that might be worth considering. At the follow-up appointment, we both had some issues with the results, but the male factor was a greater issue. In the end, the first hospital appointment was in his name. We had a debate about whether I was supposed to be there too - they definitely did want me there. Checked both of us, but actually a lot of the focus was on me. I think as the women, more of the medical focus will be on you anyway, regardless of what the actual cause of the issue is. All the best.

My DH and I also went to the Gp in a double appointment. You need both of you to make a baby so it doesn't matter where he problems lies - you are a team and the only way you're doing it is together.

Maybe if you go in together it would help? (Not sur rid you've already been in?)

My DH said the same. I went through loads of invasive and expensive tests and it turned out we have MFI of high DNA fragmentation. You and your DH are in this together- all too often the woman is seen as being the pushy, neurotic one but actually it's not hard for men to be tested and it's not invasive or anything.

I would make light of it but be firm- get it done. You need to know the full picture.