Hi
I have written my own post as the threads i have found for failed ivf seem to be for ladies with multiple failures so didnt want to offend anyone or it to feel an insult posting with my feelings after one attempt.
I have just had my first round of ivf (funded for one cycle by the NHS) after being diagonised with unexplained infertility last year. No known factors on either side. Both 32 .
Started to not try but not prevent in 2012 then had laprascopy to diagnose mild endometriosis (although told this would not affect fertility) and a futher keyhole surgery. Resumed ttc in 2014 fell pregnant after 3 months much to my shock which ended in very early miscarriage (5+1 so classed as chemical pregnancy).
Ttc since with no luck.
The ivf cycle went better than we could of hoped with 6 fertilised eggs out of 8 collected and very little side affects. Had 2 embryos transferd and rest left to grow, 3 made it to early blastocyst/blastocyst stage. Sadly non suitable to freeze. However we had to count our blessings that we had got this far with basically no blips.
Started to bleed last week and just knew it was over, hubby held out hope until official test day yesterday. Confirmed with negative.
Hubby very quiet now hes accepted the cycle failed. Hes not talking about his thoughts or feelings on it ,just shutting off from it.
His family were aware and very supportive but overly excited and convinced this round would work (which worried me as I'm aware first rounds are generally expected to fail). Think it built him up and now he's had a big fall.
If im honest as much as I know the chances of success on the first go are low I still let myself get my hopes up. Now I just feel so heartbroken.
Have supportive friends and family but they have not been through ivf themselves or even have fertility struggles so dont really know how to support me or what to say. The few on my side that knew also thought this would work .
They have all said things like "keep trying naturally", "you never know your miracle might be round the corner" or talking about next steps. Or next time will be different.
They think because of our ages and the fact that I got pregnant once before its bound to all work out .
I don't want to talk about next steps right now. I just want to lick my wounds and come to terms with the fact that, although it doesn't mean we won't be successful in the future, for now the hopes I had for this turn are gone. all that time mostly emotionally invested in this has amounted to nothing .
Just feel so empty and hollow right now.
Thanks for reading if you got this far.
Xx
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Infertility
Failed ivf feeling lost
20 replies
herewegoagain18 · 13/03/2018 07:45
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