4th & Final IVF

[bridgetjones1]

I’ve just booked my final IVF for April, I’m trying to muster up some enthusiasm but the three previous rounds have been bruising to say the least.

I’ve cut out so many food groups, taking Metformin, eating lots of protein, drinking milk, water bottles to encourage ovaries to grow, you name it I’ve done it. Nothing has made any difference, my egg quality has always remained rubbish.

I’ve not planning on changing my routine too much. I’m about 10lbs heavier that id like to be but again I’ve been a lot lighter than what I am now and still it’s not made any difference.

Saying all of this I can’t help but have a very loud niggle that I’m not prepared enough, I have a couple of Gins at the weekend but don’t drink during the week. I’m still taking vitamins and will probably go with taking Metformin again even though it made me feel dreadful.

Suppose my question is, for all you ladies that have had multiple rounds did you feel the same? I was so full of hope the first round but that hope just gets knocked out of you after so many failures.

Yes I did. 3 goes over 8 years and it worked on my final try. I didn't have the heart (nor the money TBH) to try again - and I actually bled before the 2ww was up and thought it had failed again.

I was sick of everything, the drugs, the constant emotional battling to keep going, the putting a brave face on it, the questions from well meaning friends. All I wanted to do was hide in a hole and never come out. This actually meant I was ill-prepared for my eventual +ve result, but my GP called it self preservation, and in hindsight was necessary to help keep my sanity.

I don't know if it will work for you or not, but I know exactly how you feel. I truly, truly hope that this time it will work for you. Sending huge hugs.

Thank you for your reply and congratulations on your success ☺️

You sum it up perfectly, if this 4th round hadn’t already been paid for I think we might have called it a day. I’m so sick of being in the IVF limboland.

I definitely think this lack of enthusiasm is self preservation, I’ve learnt not to get my hopes up.

Xx

I’m sorry that I can’t help, I haven’t had multiple rounds. I’m about to start thinking about another frozen embryo transfer after my first ended up being a chemical pregnancy. My eggs are shit too. Out of 25, only 2 were good enough to freeze. Have you heard of DHEA? It’s supposed to improve egg quality. A few girls on the support group i’m in had great success with it. I didn’t know about it until it was too late to try. You need to take it for 3 months prior to a cycle of IVF.

Did they ever tell you what grade your embryos were? How many transfers have you had?

HI village
Thank you for your reply & sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy.

I have heard of DHEA however as I have polycystic tendencies I had read that it can make it worse, I create plenty of eggs just not good quality ones. I have been taking ubiquinol for 3 months though. (I have read It Starts With The Egg and moved all cleaning products & cosmetics to natural chemical free items)

Out of the 3 rounds of IVF I have produced 26 mature eggs, only 5 of those eggs have fertilised (even with ICSI) the grade of egg has always been fairly good at point of transfer. In total I’ve had 3 transfers.

Good luck with your upcoming FET I really hope it works out for you x

Same here, plenty of eggs, just shit quality!!
I’ve heard of that book. It may be worth me reading it if FET number 2 fails. I can’t bare to wait 3 months to start a cycle again if this FET fails though. What are the main points that the book tells you to do to improve egg quality? X

I'm in a similar position. I had 3 fresh rounds last year and all failed or early mc. Plenty of eggs, good fertilisation, crappy quality embryos. Never had any to freeze but transferred 5 in total.

I've read that book as well and am going to try 1 more round to see if the changes improved anything. Key points are: eat a Mediterranean diet, take ubiquinol, cut out all products that contain phthalates (most cleaning, beauty, bath, and cosmetics have these so go for all natural ones with no fragrance or perfum in ingredients), and lower bpa exposure by getting rid of plastics in the kitchen. There are more specific advice around supplements depending on your situation.

Yes I was full of hope with cycle 1. 1 egg transfered and failed.

I did all the good eating - excercise - protein - brazilnuts - eggs - pineapple and nothing

Cycle 2 more drugs and 3 eggs transfered and all failed

None left to freeze in both cycles

Cycle 3 failed but 6 frozen due to higher drugs and better technology imo

Cycle 4 a fet I was hopeful due to better egg quality but still failed

Cycle 5 another 5 I was very blasé . TBH I had given up hope

Everyone I knew who had ivf had got preg by 1or 2 cycles

This cycle I did nothing and it worked. Dd is now 11mths

I can say don’t give up hope but you do when ivf keeps failing and you spend thousands of thousands of pounds

Wishing you luck 💐

I felt pretty despondent by this point. I didn't expect anything to work. My 4th round produced one 5 cell embie by transfer day (should have been 8). The embryologist came out to chat to us about donor eggs. I cried. By some miracle it worked and that 5 cell slowcoach embie has spent today throwing snowballs at me and watching far too much Disney. There's always a chance. X

Thank you all for your lovely replies, it's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling despondent over so many failures and its good to know that there can be happy outcomes from low quality embryo's, you're right there is always a chance xx

I think the upside to feeling a bit low though is that you can be more relaxed and less stressed. If your expectations are low to begin with the pressure is off to a certain extent.

I am taking ubiquinol which I haven't for the previous 3 rounds so we'll see if it has any difference. I know people absolutely swear by diet, acupuncture and the rest of it, but Professor Robert Winston has always stood by that these particular things really don't make a difference. I'm not sure, I'm on the fence on that one.

xxx

I'm not in your position Bridget, have only had 1 cycle which was cancelled and gearing up to go again, but just wanted to wish you all the luck. 🍀

Hi @bridgetjones1 I am currently in the 2ww after my 4th cycle and we have days that this is last chance saloon for us. Physically I feel like I can deal with treatment but emotionally it is a hard journey and I feel like I have put my life on hold for a long time.

Trying my best to remain hopeful that this works - we got a bfp first cycle but had an mmc at 11weeks so I know my body can do it. Trying not to symptom spot but it is hard!

Have you thought about any other options? We have looked into adoption quite a bit and have been to info days and I feel like it has really helped us on our down days to know there are other options. X

Hi @user1497036202 thanks so much for your reply and best of luck with your 2ww. It's difficult symptom spotting isn't it as on my first cycle I was convinced that it had worked but was a bit fat BFN, 2nd cycle I got a feint BFP which turned into a blighted ovum and then 3rd cycle I absolutely knew it hadn't worked. So basically we can't trust our "symptoms" at all.

We've been to adoption info days too, but I'm just not sure it's for us. I'm a born worrier so I was maybe thinking that if this cycle doesn't work i'll take advantage of the free counselling that the clinic offers to try and work through our options and decide what to do.

xx

That sounds like - good idea @bridgetjones1.

I don't think this cycle has worked unfortunately so I think this may be our Ivf journey done x

I'm sorry to hear that @user1497036202, I always hated the term "keep positive" so i'll not say it, have you tested yet?

xx

@bridgetjones1 no haven't tested but cm getting redder and so I think the meds are just stopping af from coming ☹️

Hi @bridgetjones1 I wondered feted how you are? Our last cycle has failed so just trying to muster up some energy to face the fact that we won't be having a biological child - it all feels so surreal - I never thought it would happen to me x

Hi @user1497036202

I’m so sorry this cycle has failed, it never gets any easier does it 😔 I don’t have many words of wisdom, I wish I did, just take some time to heal, be kind to yourselves. I think it’s important to grieve as well and maybe speaking to the clinic’s counsellor would help?

I’m doing ok generally. We’ve got an appointment with our consultant at the end of this month. When we last saw him he really pushed us to consider doner egg but it’s not something we want to do (or can afford to do quite frankly) at the moment, so I guess he’ll use the meeting to give us a reality check about our chances of success.

Infertility really does suck 😔

Wishing you all the very very best for the future whatever you may decide is your way forward

Xxxxxxxxx

Thanks @bridgetjones1 I really hope you guys manage to work something out. I know the costs are high which is why we couldn't go again even we wanted to but I know everything will work out one way or another x

Hi Bridget I did multiple rounds too, maybe seven? Two successes!. I think it’s great you are getting more relaxed with each cycle. I made myself treat IVF like a hobby, not the be all and end all, just a really interesting hobby. My other tip is to spend two days in bed after transfer if you can. But if you can’t don’t worry just rest as much as you can and tell your brain it’s all fine, just an unusual hobby! Best of luck.