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Infertility

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Would really appreciate your advice

2 replies

dontquit · 26/02/2018 00:09

I hope ye don't mind me posting here. I don't have any fertility problems. I've recently got my bfp for planned dc no.3. I'm extremely lucky. I have had early MC in the past so aware that this might not stick.
A very close friend of mine is currently going through IVF. Her first round failed, 2nd round got bfp but sadly Mc'd at 5-6wks. She will be starting 3rd round in April(frozen transfer).

I'm really looking for advice on when to tell her my news. I had intended ttc early last year but had to postpone it for my own health reasons. She knows this and is aware I was going to ttc this year. I was really hoping that she would be pregnant before me but for age and health reasons I didn't want to postpone any longer and was worried it may take a while ttc this time.
In the past I have waited until 11/12 wks before telling people. However this time if I wait until then she will likely be starting her transfer or in 2ww or may have another failed attempt etc. I'm really wondering should I tell her in the nxt week or 2 so she can be upset now rather than at such a crucial time. I know she will be happy for me but also well aware that it's devastating every time someone else gets pregnant (and I suppose especially since it has seemed so easy for me).
I'm really close to this person and really want to cause the least amount of stress possible.

Also I'm wondering best way to tell her when the time comes..face to face/phone call/text. I've read before that text might be best so she doesn't have to try to put on a front for me.

I would really appreciate any and all advice. Thanks

OP posts:
hoping2018 · 26/02/2018 07:41

If I were her (which I have sadly been many a time and no sign of not being anytime soon) I would want to be told via text. Send the text at a time when you know she's at home and having an easy day and try do it at the best time possible with regard to ivf - though there's never a great time to hear someone has achieved seemingly easily what you have wanted and not managed to do for so many years.

I also find it hard to talk to my pregnant friends and be around them. I know those who are my true friends understand and won't take it personally - so do bear in mind she may distance herself from you for some time.

The fact you're on here asking shows you really care.

Good luck

dontquit · 26/02/2018 19:16

Thanks for replying @hoping2018. I know she might be a bit distant and will understand. I certainly won't be flaunting it in front of her but won't be able to hide it either.

I really hope everything works out for you xx

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