Parents expecting Grandchildren

[LavaLamp5566]

I just turned 21 and I got married a little over a month ago and my parents and my Husband's parents are expecting Grandchildren.

Me and my other half have been together a long time we met and started dating when we were thirteen, and we've talked about having our own children but it's impossible because he was ill as a child (He had some form of Cancer)

It's like both sets parents have miraculously forgotten that he spent most of his time in hospital for treatment from the ages of four to nine

I'm not sure how many times we can tell our Parents that children and a family isn't happening for us right now (We want to adopt a child in the future, we're not giving up on having a family)

Anyway, sorry for ranting. I've had this account for a couple of weeks and I've been bracing myself to come and vent and get this all off my chest

Has he had tests to check sperm? It may be that some can be surgically recovered...? Sometimes you don't actually know the story until you try or tests are run...? Not all forms of cancer treatment would render him sterile... I am sure his doctors know more than I do, and I would expect his parents to as well.

How very odd that they are pressuring you at such a VERY young age. If you were 41 I might get it a bit more.

I'd tell them to mind their own F*ing business as it's your right to plan your own family. You have a plan! What assholes.

He's had tests, he's had hundreds of tests. His doctors told him he was infertile when we were Eighteen (I'm a bit older than him, by two or three months) He's sterile.

Our parents just want to be Grandparents. I dont think they realise yet that I have two older sisters and my Husband has an older brother - Who all have Children.

It's gotten so bad that over Christmas we didn't even go and see them, we turned off both our housephones and our mobiles. We didn't even go to Christmas Mass with his Family. We just stayed in watching Laurel and Hardy and we had a nice Christmas Dinner

Thank you for your comment. It's made me feel somewhat better that someone's read this

This is so sad. I imagine the pressure makes things difficult. Have you told them you're planning to adopt? IMO genes mean very little so hopefully they'll view any adopted children as their grandchildren. Good luck with everything!

Well just tell them straight “the cancer treatment made him sterile, can you stop going on about it now please”.

This must be very hard for you. I know my parents are desperate to be grandparents and it makes me so sad that I've not been able to give them that (2+ years TTC) although they don't know we are trying.

I agree with a previous poster that you ought to be frank with them that it isn't a possibility. Hopefully they will then back off.

Parents wanting to be grandparents so badly?

All about them!!

I would be very blunt with them and ask them to stop going on about it as it is hugely insensitive. If they ignore you then it is for you to rethink your relationship with them.

Perhaps just reply with comments such as "feel free to start an IVF fund then.."?

I know you want to adopt but you need to be financially secure for that to happen too!