IVF- Mixed Feelings, advice would be appreciated.

[happybus28]

Hi all

I have just completed my last cycle on clomid which I’m 99% sure hasn’t worked as my usual pre AF spotting has started. We have ‘unexplained’ infertility but I do have long irregular cycles which I think are to blame. Have ovulated every month on the clomid though but still no luck.

Anyway our next appointment is towards the end of Feb and my consultant told me at my last appointment that if the clomid didn’t work then the next stage for us would be IVF. He said there was no waiting list at the time but that was 6 months ago so that may have changed. I really don’t know how I feel about it...being honest the thought of IVF scares me so much but I feel like I’d regret it looking back if we didn’t give it a go especially as we are lucky enough to be eligible for 2 NHS cycles. I just feel like such a failure.

Could anyone tell me their experiences with getting referred for IVF? Will we need to make a decision there and then if we want to go ahead? Could we decide we want to give it another few months trying naturally before starting or would we then need to go through the whole referral process again? I just want to be a bit prepared for what the first appointment will involve then I can try and get my head around it.

In the meantime between now and then I am going to try some reflexology to see if that helps regulate my cycles a bit now I’ve finished the clomid. My DH things it’s all a bit of hocus pocus but I’m gonna try it anyway!

Hi
I have an appointment in February to start IVF and I’m terrified. We have unexplained fertility too.
I need to get the courage to tell my mum but I didn’t even know where to start.
We can be IVF buddies :)

Hi fiestylittleowl

Sorry you are in the same boat as me but it’s nice to know there are other people out there who know what it’s like. Infertility is quite a lonely journey isn’t it. The few people I’ve told don’t really know what to say and it’s quite awkward so I’ve not told many people. Both mine and DHs parents know, his never mention it and just seem to have buried their heads in the sand that there is a problem but my mum has been very supportive.

Hope you feel able to confide in your Mum soon and that she’s supportive. I know every family is different but I’m very glad my mum knows although it was a hard conversation to have. Also nice to be able to have someone else to talk to about it all.

We can def be IVF buddies I’d love to chat to someone going through the same. What had you had done so far? Have you been on clomid too?

You won’t need to decide straight away. When I went privately the consultant explained it all, on my nhs attempt we went to an information evening with other couples which was actually really good. It is hugely stressful as I’m sure you are fully aware but when it works it’s worth it Good luck with whatever you decide. I’ll kerp checking this thread and I’m happy to answer any questions I can. I had 4 attempts at IVF and have one wonderful DC. My thoughts are with anyone on this challenging journey

We have been on the IVF journey, I can only describe it as a roller coaster ride emotionally, I didn’t want to do my 2nd successful attempt but so glad I did as it was successful with DS. Incidentally DD was conceived naturally 3 years later after chiropractic treatment whereby I was told my pelvis was out of alignment, maybe my insides were out of alignment too since we fell into the unexplained category, either that or as having a 2nd baby was not on our radar and I’d completely relaxed, I must point out I went to see a chiropractor as I had a back problem not to help me conceive but I think it’s pretty coincidental I became pregnant after treatment as we hadn’t used any protection since DS was born. I’m just telling you this as you don’t seem adverse to alternative therapies. My only other advice is tell as few people as possible, it makes it much easier if you don’t have good news to share, have a few supportive people only and come to MN for support. Good luck on your journey X

Have you tried acupuncture to regulate your cycles too? I've had real success in lengthening mine which are short and not so sweet. We've been TTC #1 for 16 months now. Good luck, I don't really have any advice on ivf as we're not at that stage yet and I think it's a real big mental jump. Xxx

I was terrified of ivf, so terrified that when we were advised to do ivf after 2 failed iuis, I put it off for 2 years and instead tried acupuncture, Napro, food allergy diet (give up peas and you'll get pregnant!), bioenergy, and praying.

Finally we went for ivf and tbh I enjoyed the experience, even though my first cycle was cancelled before collection due to poor response and my second ivf resulted in 15 viable eggs but only 1 fertilised embryo (polyspermic fertilisation). That 1 embryo is our 9 month old baby now. The main reason I liked ivf was that in a way it was out of my hands. My clinic scanned me every second day and adjusted my meds if needed. I didn't have to think, I didn't have to stress out about whether we were having enough sex, good enough sex, sex at the right time, too much sex. I knew what was happening inside my body and the clinic were taking care of me. They advocated a healthy balanced diet - no fads, no cutting out entire food groups like some of the "natural" approaches I had tried. They literally held my hand when I cried when my first cycle was cancelled and were always available to talk. During my first trimester I used to ring them with random "is this normal pregnancy symptom" questions because I missed them

Without ivf we would never have known my eggs allow polyspermic fertilisation. We were extraordinarily lucky for our 1 embryo to become a successful pregnancy but now we know that next time we need to do ICSI.

I'm in Ireland and IVF isn't publicly funded and I have found that a lot of people (in person and on other forums I'm on) seem to think that IVF clinics are money grabbing oligarchs that just pump you full of drugs and what will be will be. I found the complete opposite in my clinic. They did full bloodwork, an SIS and referred me for a lap and dye where I had a polyp in my womb removed before I took as much as a vitamin tabet.

The very best of luck.

Hello, I've been trying for two years, tried two cycles of clomid whilst waiting out the 6 month waiting list for IVF. Our CCG doesn't fund IUI because the success rates weren't high enough - so we didn't feel it was worth it to pay for them either.

Unexplained bastard infertility!

We had our IVF cycle last month and it was freeze all as I hyper stimulated. Injecting stims wasn't too bad - it didn't hurt much and had no side effects. Going for regular scans was a bit of a pain but didn't bother me. I hyper responded to the stims so my ovaries were absolutely stuffed with follicles by the end - so I was really quite uncomfortable towards the end. Egg collection wasn't too bad at all either - but afterwards I was more uncomfortable and unwell than I thought I would be. I had mild/moderate OHSS from over responding to the drugs which can make you really unwell. Not everyone gets that.

Then you find out how many eggs you laid and then you wait for the phonecall from the lab to tell you how many embryos you made, how many make it to day three and hopefully how many make it to day five. This is very very nerve wracking. It's so hard to know what to expect and no one explained to me what to expect. I made 25 eggs, 11 fertilised, 8 got to day three and 3 got to day five and have been frozen.

The hardest thing for me is now waiting again as I couldn't have a fresh transfer. I've got to wait a few months then have a frozen transfer. Waiting again is just horrible and it feels like I've been through all that for nothing.

Most people have a fresh embryo transfer though so you may not have to wait. Once they have put one back you take progesterone and have what seems like the worst TWW of your life. I haven't been through this bit yet. Progesterone makes you feel pretty shit - mood swings, emotional , bloated etc.

So that's my experience of it!! Not ideal and not something I ever thought I would do. But not too bad really - and if we get our baby then totally totally worth every single moment.

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. It really helps to have a understanding of what’s to come. I haven’t tried acupuncture mouse no but have heard good things about it helping to regulate cycles so it’s definitley something I’ll look into in the new year. Not sure what my body will do now I’ve finished the clomid...should be a interesting few weeks!

My appointment was meant to be 5th Jan originally but got moved to 22nd Feb. I was pissed off about that at first but I’m quite glad now actually. Gives us some time to get our heads round things and me some time off taking drugs (hated clomid) and I am going to use the time to explore some alternative therapies. Thanks again for all your advice, it really helps

Hi I completely understand when we got to the point of ivf I sobbed when the consultant mentioned it. We had our first cycle Sept, I responded well to the meds, had a great Egg put back in. The Ivf failed and I just felt a bit broken and fed up. Decided to wait until after Christmas and build myself up to do it again. Cycles were a little mucked up due to the ivf and was quite stressed so when my period was late thought nothing of it. Turns out we’d conceived naturally and I was 5 weeks pregnant hence my period being late. I honestly can’t believe it I’m in shock after 2 and a half years, unexplained infertility and a lot of heartache.
Please don’t give up, if you can give the ivf a go, it’s emotional but the actual procedures are ok. Sending you lots of luck. X

I had low Amh and twisty tubes so it would be virtually impossible to conceive naturally so I guess for us ivf was the only solution... so I was keen to get started straight away... which is obviously not how you feel (which I do understand!)
It was hard don't get me wrong.. I had 8 eggs, 7 of which were mature, 6 fertilised normally and two were transferred.. we now have 7 month old twins (which is a miracle as they transferred two as they were both behind!)

Would def recommend acupuncture.. I did it to help support the treatment and I felt good after each session. Also took proxeed supplements, from Amazon, which were recommended by clinic.
Wishing you all the luck in the world.

We went down the IVF route, although it was 9 years ago now so things will have changed. We were fortunate in that we knew someone who was very involved with IVF in their job and was able to talk us through the process. His advice was to do your research, but don't delay if you do decide to move forwards. As you know it can take many cycles before you are successful (although success is not guaranteed). The first cycle can be a bit hit and miss in terms of how your body responds to the meds, although this may have improved since we went through it.

If I were to give anyone advice it would be that yes IVF is stressful and can be uncomfortable, but I never found it frightening. Do your research and ask lots of questions.

All the best if you decide to try IVF OP.

Hi Happybus
I have had bloods which confirm that I am ovulating and thyroid etc all ok. I have had an ultrasound which was normal and a HSG which showed no problems with my tubes. My periods are regular and as I am ovulating they haven’t tried me on clomid.
DH semen analysis came back as excellent so they really have no idea why we aren’t conceiving.

I really want to tell my mum but I feel like such a failure. All she wants is grandchildren and she goes on about it and I haven’t had the heart to tell her. I know I’m going to find it really emotional. I normally tell her everything so it’s really hard. I just don’t know how to tell her.

Hi OP we initially went with the NHS. Did all the tests and found out I had multiple fibroids and a blocked tube. That was a low point, and then got given our next appointment with the hospital - seven months away! So decided to go private, and straight to IVF.

In terms of the process: I had to take a nasal spray for a week (IIRC it was to stop me ovulating naturally), which was horrible as it tasted like liquid Panadol. Then after that I started the injections. After a week of that, I started going to the clinic every two-three days where they would take bloods and monitor the growth of the eggs. Once they reached the right size, I was prepped for collection which was done under GA.

The next day we were told how many eggs had fertilised and then decide if we wanted them to go to the blastocyst stage or have them put back in on day 3.

Eggs being put back in was a breeze, no anaesthetic required (though you did have to have a half-full to fairly full bladder which was uncomfortable!). Once that's done it's the 2ww. At my clinic I was put on progesterone as soon as the transfer was done. Progesterone was very yucky, I've never ruined so many knickers in my life!

I've done two cycles - first time round had 7 eggs, 4 fertilised but only 2 were viable (but both were high quality embryos); second time round had 2 eggs, both fertilised and made it to blasto even though they were on lower quality compared to first time round.

I was OK throughout the process, was lucky enough not to experience mood swings etc, and we now have two lovely DDs (aged 4 and 2).

Fiestylittleowl I'm so sorry you feel that way. It's hard, isn't it. I felt a failure too as we'd been married for years (and both mum and MIL would ask "when are the grandchildren coming") before IVF. I think if I were in your position then I probably wouldn't say anything unless I was 100% certain she would be supportive - I didn't tell anyone when we did ours as didn't want any added pressure, and also like to keep things close to my chest in any case.

Good luck OP and all other ladies on this journey

My mum would be supportive and I will tell her but I just haven’t been able to yet. I know she will be devestated and I hate the thought of upsetting her. She is an amazing mum and one of the kindest people I know and I wish I could give her a grandchild.

I too had unexplained inferility.

We tried clomid and other things but didnt work. When our consultant said it was IVF I was happy and really sad.
Sad because you never think it would be come to IVF and theres always that hope you might just fall pregnant.

But chances are, you won't, or certainly not any time soon. IVF has the highest success rate of any fertility treatment and pretty soon it wont be on NHS or it may only offer 1 round.

Keep your mind to your end goal of having a baby, how you get there wont matter.
IVF is hard but once u get going its fine. Its worth it.

Im 34 weeks pregnant after my first round