Mad things you've done in pursuit of that BFP?

[isthismummy]

Everyone on this board knows that infertility officially turns you into a crazy, unhinged person who will grasp at any straw going to hopefully see those two lines on a test.

Here's your chance to share the most bonkers and outlandish things you've done in the name of getting your womb to work.

Mine is visiting a spiritual healer. She told me I would definitely get upduffed if I drank daily out of water bottles full of paper containing spells written in Arabic. I did this religiously for three weeks and then threw all the spells in river at the end as instructed. In addition to that I spent three evenings in my bathroom burning additional spells and wafting the smoke all over me.

I feel so much better for this confession. However you'll all be doubtless shocked to hear that I'm still not pregnant six months later

[EarlGreyT]

You want to have a read of this thread mummy.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/2681450-failure-stories

It’s possibly the best infertility thread of all time, although towards the end it focuses much more on treatment actually working, but there are several hundred posts before it gets to that.

[isthismummy]

How can I not have seen that thread before EarlGreyT

Of course I don't recognise myself in those posts at all I shudder to think how much money I've wasted on ubiquinol and micronised sodding dhea in the last two years!

[EarlGreyT]

I know, I read that thread and wept-mainly because it was so funny.

It did also give me a some ideas though and there were a few things mentioned where I thought ‘why didn’t I think of trying that??!’

[isthismummy]

I will admit I just went "Hmmmm, castor oil packs. Now there's a thought"

Sending my period to Greece killed me. Been there done that (and taken the 25 days antibiotics that nearly killed me)

Better than poor DH though. Serum made him do the 40 day antibiotic spent improvement protocol TWICE. He was so ill I thought he was going to die. He stuck it out though, God love him.

[isthismummy]

Spent improvement? Sperm improvement even

[Dia12]

I think we may be sharing the same spiritual healer isthismummy!

I’ve been resisting the superstitious rituals so far but after 2 years of TTC my mother is now fully convinced it’s because of my refusal to follow these daft instructions from the spritiual “healer”! The things I’ve been told to do are too embarrassing to even detail on here. So far, I’ve just lied to her and told her I’ve been following them just to get some peace.

I’m desperate to conceive but this nonsense doesn’t help

[Colabottles64]

May I just say, thank you for sharing that old thread.

I have spent the morning laughing - so many ladies being driven just as crazy by ttc is incredibly comforting and welcome light relief. Really hope everyone got there in the end - whether it was the spells, crystals, vaginal viagra or effort of posting period blood to Greece!!

[Isthismummy]

Dia12 You're not in London are you?

You can tell your DH that I am living proof that fertility voodoo does not work.

[Isthismummy]

DM even...

[expatknitter]

I think my best one is having hubby dip his testicles in cold water before sex - a nurse told me that's what a doc at a "fancy clinic in London" told her niece 🙈😂

[AurorasEncore]

I was convinced it would happen if we recreated the night we conceived DC1. We had to do it in the old spare room - now baby's room (obviously they were not there) whilst Macca Pacca looked on disapprovingly.