Ideas to cope with festive season??

[Choccogoingcuckoo]

Hi all,

For the past 5 years we went down the ivf route then adoption route and every year we thought "this Christmas we'll have a wee one" followed by "definitely next christmas". This year we were going to have a son home for Christmas until my partner left and the whole adoption fell through before our adoptive son came here.

To say I'm dreading christmas is an understatement. I can't put a face on another year when my heart is breaking.

Has anyone got advice on how they managed to pull themselves out of this hole or any ideas on an alternative way to get through christmas.

Sorry for such a depressing post, I'm really struggling and any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

One year I ran away went on holiday to a place where Christmas wasn’t really celebrated and hyped it up as a really exotic, glamorous carefree etc break but I was masking the fact that I was broken inside. I don’t know if that helps in anyway but you’re not alone in feeling this way.

That's been the only solution I've came up with so far. How did you feel when you were away? Did it help at all or did you miss being at home with family?

It was a very relaxing break, and I was able to enjoy it. I spent the whole of December ignoring Christmas, no parties, didn’t do present shopping and was generally very bah humbug before I went away. Honestly no I didn’t miss my family. It was definitely the right thing for me that year.

Oh, I'm sorry. That sounds so tough.

I'd second the idea of getting away - maybe go somewhere with plenty of distractions. Alternatively, is there any possibility you could do some volunteering? There are often things like short-term homeless shelters that need help over the festive season, and having something that keeps you busy and takes you away from the normal pattern of your Christmas might be really helpful.

Just sending you , so sorry to read of your heartache. I think I agree that you need to opt out and do something completely different; of course you will take the pain with you but it will be a change of scenery. Now, a holiday will 're-charge you and volunteering/something active might wear you out but your mind will be occupied - which do you feel you need?. (Unless you live in a big town I am not sure if volunteering will be possible though). Just thought do you ski, would you like to learn?

After coming out of a long term relationship it’s only natural to feel low and struggle. Personally, I would want to be around my nearest and dearest so Christmas would be a god-sent. However, if you think you’ll cope better by being on your own then going away could be an idea.

Thanks for the support and advice. I have 6 nieces and nephews and usually organise a family day out for everyone at this time of year but I don't seem to have the mental or emotional capacity for it this year. A holiday to get away recharge does sound amazing. Any suggestions for single travellers?

When single, I used to go on organised group holidays with a tour guide and sightseeing. If you’d prefer solitude, then my personal all-time favourite is the Maledives (admittedly expensive). The South of Spain can be lovely too + the wine is great.