Envy

[Clemence2017]

Hi I've been lurking for a while but decided to finally join.

AF came today for the 16th time since we've been trying and got the announcement that my sister in law is 12 weeks pregnant.

DH is so laid back and it's his sister so he's excited but doesn't understand when I get upset about other people's pregnancies.

How do you all cope with the envy?

I reckon admitting the feeling to yourself is the first step. I also think to myself s few other things:
-that sb else getting pregnant easily has nothing to do with me getting pregnant,
-that they aren’t pregnant with my baby and I want my baby not theirs,
-that it is actually nice that the people dear to me don’t need to struggle with this infertility business and I’d be very sad for them if they did
-that I can’t expect life to be perfect: I’m tall, sporty, clever and have an amazing husband etc so it’s only normal that one thing (fertility) hasn’t worked out for me
-I also try to have a balanced view and remember that there’s more to life than (in)fertility so might as well focus on an appreciate all the positives in my life.

Allowing yourself to feel and not repressing feelings has been key for me. Not beating myself up for needing time to myself and not gushing about others’ pregnancy. I have had other difficulties in my life (including being short ) but that can help because I’ve survived them so far so can/could survive infertility.

Thank you for the kind words. It nice to feel I'm not the only one who struggles.