Need a friend

[upsydaisies]

I don’t know if this should be conception or here but I feel like there would be more people here who would understand.

2yrs TTC and it’s not happening. On the waiting list for surgery but it’s a long list and we aren’t on it despite checking month by month for each new list. OH has 3% morphology and it’s suspected I have blockages caused by trauma. Both of us are on conception supplements (OH only a month in though) and both of us have cut down or out on caffeine, alcohol and sugars (neither of us smoke). We are honestly trying as hard as possible. My cycle is almost like clockwork but is a short 26days right now so I’m not even sure if I’m actually releasing an egg because I’m 35 now and have been told I have a low hormone level that suggests I might not be ovulating. My opk tests say I AM ovulating but obviously I must not be releasing an egg.

You’d think I would be used to getting my period by now....

But I’m not. It tears me apart and I fall to pieces. But I can’t talk to anyone about it because all I get told is that I should be grateful that I have a child already and that I’m the luckiest person in the world. People around me are getting pregnant by accident and one friend has even been so upset she’s pregnant she has had a termination and asked me for support (I have given it and helped her loads). So I really can’t talk to anyone. My OH has had a had at me tonight for being upset because I didn’t want to go out for dinner tonight and I’m just very lonely tonight.

I adore my son. He’s my miracle dream come true. I know I’m being ungrateful because some people don’t even have one.

Unmumsnetty hugs. Having had both primary (2 years) and secondary infertility (2 years and counting) they are both horrible if in slightly different ways. In my experience primary hurts more but you just can't get away from secondary - once you have one child you're just surrounded by parents, and watching your child's friends with their siblings is so hard.

Sounds like you could do with at least one person in real life to talk to - fine for your DH to encourage you to go out if he thinks it will help but having a go at you if you don't feel up to it is both unnecessary and unhelpful. Meantime, can you fix yourself something nice to eat and download something nice to watch to keep your mind off it? Hope the surgery time comes through soon; is there any way of asking for short notice cancellation appointments?

Thank you. I feel really awful that I have a baby already and yet I’m upset over not having another. I have a lot of family pressure to have another and everyone around me has 2,3,4 children and keep telling me how easy it is.

Right now I don’t know which of my rl friends I can go to. They’re all busy and it’s a pathetic thing I’m getting upset about.

Thank you again for talking to me

Big hugs. Know exactly how you feel. Have DS1 who is 5 now and have been ttc for 4 years now. All I keep getting told is lose weight when it’s been proven that DH has reduced mobility and I have low progesterone. So frustrating.

You will get there, fingers crossed for you xxx

@MrsWineasaurus thank you. I hope you get your baby soon too. I just need tonight to feel sorry for myself and cry. OH won’t let me be miserable and keeps asking what he’s done wrong and why can’t I just accept it.

Fingers crossed for you too xx