Worried about my age

[Passmyslippers]

I've suffered from infertility for over 20 years, cut forward to me being 41 - had 4 cycles of ivf, 1 miscarriage and numerous tests. My only option now is donor eggs through ivf with immune support.
DH is 34.

I'm worried I'm getting too old although I don't feel old and people tell me I look much younger than 41.

How old do you think is too old? I suppose my saving grace is my dh being younger than me but it still worries me.

Anyone?

So sorry about your unsuccessful treatment so far. 20 years is just hideous. 41 is definitely not too old, especially if you are using donor eggs. Someone may come along and correct me but I believe your chances of success will largely relate to the age of your egg donor and not your age. So you'll have a good chance. Good luck x

I understand your worries about your age, it does matter.

I felt under enormous pressure to stop trying with fertility treatment - partly worrying about what people would think, but mainly because I just felt it was wrong to go on (I had DD1 via ivf at 40, then many failed cycles & miscarriages over next few years).

I'm now 44 and 2 weeks away from giving birth to DD2 (all being well), conceived with a donor egg. It was my very last throw of the dice.

I look young too, and that does make a difference, as does where you live - in London 40-somethings with babies and toddlers is no big deal. It's not so common elsewhere.

It boils down to, 'Can I bear to stop? Can I live without a baby?' For me the answer was 'No', both times.

If you decide to go ahead, feel free to PM me. Good luck

Thank you both for your replies. I am feeling the enormous pressure and stress of it all at the moment - for some reason this weekend has been pretty emotional!

Disastronaut - congratulations on your impending birth! That's really inspiring for me to hear esp as it's with DE too!

We are on the waiting list for a donor since April and have had 3 offers but all wrong characteristics so still waiting and trying to work it all out in my head. It's such a tough decision & journey!!

Would you consider going abroad? No waiting list and much cheaper. We've recently cycled in Czech Republic. x

I've also heard about couples getting suitable donor eggs abroad sooner. Although the rules re anonymity of donors are different abroad so you will need to decide if they suit you or not. And yes, the chances of success are more in line with your donor's age. Healthy women are capable of carrying pregnancies to term well into their forties and fifties. It's just the eggs that could problems with getting pregnant.

Agreed with Scottishgirl85, IVF clinics abroad might be an option. A friend of mine has started her treatment in top IVF clinic in Poland.