New to IVF and a bit worried...

[Tigerlily99]

Hi,
Weve just been referred for IVF today and I've suddenly found myself terrified by the whole thing. Whilst I knew this was what was likely to be recommended, have found myself in a bit of emotional free fall. I wonder if there's anyone who's in a similar position out there? Or who has been through IVF recently and can shed a bit of light on the process? I have to have a hysteroscopy first but the clinic seems pretty keen to get started with ICSI straight after that and I have no idea what we are getting into!

Thanks for any responses. X

We've very recently done icsi and I promise it's not too bad at all. Emotionally it is tough (as is everything with infertility), but I found the physical side no problem. Which part are you most worried about? x

I think I'm most worried about the emotional side of things, its not an easy subject to talk to friends and family about. May have been easier if I knew someone who's been through the same process but everyone I know has become pregnant naturally with relative ease.

We told family but honestly they're not much help as they don't get it. The best support I've had is from hubby, a friend who has gone through it and mostly a lot of lovely ladies on here including one who I now email regularly. We're all here to help you through

Just about to start, it's incredibly daunting. I'm scared of getting through it emotionally and how I'll cope if it doesn't work. I'm scared that something I'm doing wrong will prevent it working - too stressed or not thinking positively enough

It feels like a huge emotional risk and investment - with nothing guaranteed.

On the other hand, thank goodness it exists and we have this option to try!

Has anything come up on your tests? Wondering why they are recommending ICSI straight away?

Definitely jump on board the infertility boards, there is so much support here.

I was shocked and terrified when we were referred for IVF. I was surprised it would happen so quickly and was worried about the emotional side as well as having a fear of the pregnancy not being 'naturally selected.' I took a bit of time to think it over with OH (who was much more relaxed) and came to much better terms with it. I also have had more time to accept the possibility that it may not work and we may not have biological children and I think that helps me feel a bit more relaxed about the IVF.

I have told a couple of close friends and MIL (we're v close) but otherwise kept it quiet. We are pretty private people anyway so none of my work mates even know we'd been TTC.

Agree with Jamon these boards are very helpful and you'll find lots of support and information here. Any questions you have in particular about the process? Do you know why you've been referred? Will you be NHS or private?

Counselling can help. We've been doing it weekly and have found it very useful. It has helped us stay a loving and very romantic couple and take things as they come. I've also been able to be genuinely happy for people getting pregnant and having babies and enjoy talking about it all. So far I've only had one meltdown lasting about half a day which is pretty good considering it's been over 2.5 years without a whiff of a bfp and we haven't even been able to get as far as an embryo transfer yet...
So yes, counselling thoroughly recommend for staying sane.

Hi,
I went through ivf a couple of years back and it actually wasn't as traumatic as I was led to believe.

I wasn't overly hormonal, the injections while unpleasant were fine, and the scariest part was the GA to place the blasts.

I would find out as much information as possible about what your causes for infertility are, and do as much reading about the complexities and understand that side.

I know it's not for everyone but my ivf failed and after I saw a naturopath who worked with me on a range of herbs and supplements and I fell pregnant naturally.

This was a huge surprise as I'd spent three years trying and failing and the naturopath route was really intended to give the next round of ivf the best chance I could.

What I found was at the beginning there seems to be a lot of information to take in and it can feel pretty overwhelming. I remember going to the info evening and thinking, "do I have to remember all this?"

When you start however it's all done one step at a time and the nurses will talk you through everything- the care at my clinic was really decent. For me the idea of ICSI was worse and more scary than the reality. Once I got started I kinda had a timeline when at least I'd know one way or another. And that was better than the stress of not doing anything and AF turning up month after month.

We chose not to tell anyone when we were going through the cycles- I couldn't bear the well-intentioned questions or having to tell people if it was bad news. But it's different for everyone.