Trying after ectopic pregnancy

[bear1986]

Hi,

Hoping I can find someone to talk to on here who may have had a similar experience to me! I have been trying to conceive for over a year now and I fell pregnant in April. Unfortunately after some bleeding I was sent for an early scan at 6 weeks and it was confirmed the pregnancy was ectopic. After a couple of weeks of "watch and wait" I had to have surgery and I was fortunate that my tube was saved. I was told however that my left tube looked a bit bumpy which is partly why they kept the right, but it looked healthy from what they could see!

I have been trying to conceive again for the last couple of months and no joy yet. I'm terrified of having another ectopic. I am on the waiting list for a hycosy test with the NHS and I have been told it's a very long wait so I have made the decision to go private. I am now waiting for my next cycle to book that in.

Not long after I tried to conceive the first time I started getting pains in different sides at all different times of the month (not just around ovulation). No one has been able to explain why. I get these even more now since the ectopic. They are not excruciating just more of a twinge.

Has anyone else experienced this? Feeling pretty low at the moment and as much as everyone around me tells me I will be a mum one day I'm panicking it will never happen.

bear I'm so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy.

I had one in March last year and I just wanted to say re the 'terror' of trying again, it does subside but it can take a long time. It was only about a year after my surgery that I stopped panicking every month that I might be pregnant. Unfortunately I've not managed to fall pregnant again so far (only have one tube now so that's partly it I suppose). After several months of trying, the fear started to be outweighed again by my desire to have a baby, although that has now been replaced with sadness that it's not happening.

Also, and I'm sorry if this is upsetting, but personally I have had to find a way to accept that I will do whatever it takes to have a baby, but also accept that it might not happen for me. When close family say 'oh it will happen' I have started to say 'actually it might not'. People don't like to hear it, it makes them very uncomfortable, but for me it's just not helpful. The pressure of knowing that everyone thinks if I just relax, don't think about it, do this, do that, that I'll definitely get pregnant is too much for me. I can't carry everyone else's hopes around with mine.

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time. It's ok however long it takes you to feel normal again, eventually I realised mine is a new normal, shaped by losing my pregnancy, having surgery and facing up to what that might mean.

Hi Bear, so sorry for your loss.

I too had an ectopic pregnancy about 7 months ago. Lost left Fallopian tube. TTC conceive again but not sure whether to start!

Hugs c

I too have had all sorts of pains since surgery, plus very irregular periods... I think this is quite normal x

I'm sorry that you've all been through an ectopic. I found the chat boards at The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust invaluable during my recovery, and my journey conceiving again. I'm o e if the lucky ones. I've got two kids, both conceived list ectopic, with just the one tube.

The weeks from getting a bpf to an early scan were horrific knickers watching weeks. But worth it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do best.

Wow Red, that's amazing and gives us a bit of hope that there's still time and a opportunity to conceive...

Did you do anything in particular to help you with TTC after having an ectopic and loosing a tube? X

We were very lucky, and conceived both kids easily. Didn't start til about a year after tube removal (had an opportunity to go on a big pregnant unfriendly holiday). The stats aren't as horrific as you might think following tube removal. The remaining tube can collect eggs from either ovary. So instead of halving your likelihood of conceiving, it's actually "only" about 30% reduced.

Hi bear, so sorry you had to go through an ectopic, it is truly horrible.

I too had one in April this year, however I went in for a scan after experiencing pain rather than bleeding & was found to have a near rupturing ectopic in my right tube - I had emergency surgery that day & did loose my right tube.

We were advised to wait 4-6 weeks before trying again by the consultant, and then were extremely fortunate enough to fall pregnant again the first cycle after that.

The decision of when to try again is an entirely personal one, and the fear when you do fall pregnant is immense, but they will monitor you closely & after a scan at 6+1 this one was found to be in the right place & I'm now 15+2 with 3 good scans so far, so it is entirely possible.

And I completely understand the feeling low, it is a very bleak time, considering what will happen / not happen in the future, however you still have both tubes, which is a good start, and the hycosy will give you a bit more info.

As other have said, it is a battle between thinking will it happen & accepting that it might not, and I think that is something you have to accept before you try again, to ensure you're ready for each outcome.

I truly hope your hycosy goes well & you get good news, as I do for all of you who are in this club that no one wants to ever have to join.