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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

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Original poster

Who did you tell about IVF?

18 replies

meadowlark3 · 01/08/2017 21:56

So far, DH and MIL and a couple of my best mates. Not yet told work and feeling quite nervous about it, I suppose for being nervous about other people's judgments and for being a very private person generally. Did you tell anyone who had an unpleasant or unhelpful reaction?

OP posts:

Alwaysthesamestory · 01/08/2017 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2014newme · 01/08/2017 21:58

Told my boss and asked them to keep it confidential.
All family and friends knew over time.
Good luck 🍀

Persipan · 01/08/2017 22:03

I had to tell one person because they insisted I get someone to take me home from my egg retrieval. I was most put out; I'm terribly secretive and if I could avoid telling anyone I would!

Polly99 · 01/08/2017 22:06

One work friend and that was it. I've told a handful of friends since (all people who were struggling to conceive alongside me some years ago). My parents will never know as my mother is too judgey.

glastogal · 01/08/2017 22:09

I told my best mate as she was my shoulder throughout my long TTC journey.. then I told my mum as DP doesn't drive so I needed her to give me a lift to and from the clinic for egg collection. I also ended up telling a couple of other good friends but regretted it as their reactions rankled me! I hated people being excited about it.. I wasn't excited about it. I was terrified!

thejoysofboys · 01/08/2017 22:10

No one at the time. We just wanted to get on with it without we'll meaning family asking for updates every 5 minutes (and MIL would have told half the village by lunchtime). I did tell my boss as i needed flexible hours for hospital appointments but he kept it to himself.
Later down the line, for various reasons, I ended up telling my mum and my best friend but that was way after DS was born.

thejoysofboys · 01/08/2017 22:10

well meaning, not we'll meaning, obv.

glastogal · 01/08/2017 22:11

Good luck btw!

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 22:12

Why would you tell everyone at work?

eurochick · 01/08/2017 22:22

I told lots of people after the event. It's important to me to be open about it, to destigmatise and normalise fertility treatment.

Persipan · 01/08/2017 22:53

To be clear, I'd happily tell people after the event, if I'm ever successful. I just can't be doing with the fussing while having treatment.

Icklepickle101 · 01/08/2017 22:55

I told my boss and then he accidentally asked if I was being inseminated today whilst I was dashing off for an appointment, in front of the whole office, everyone guessed after that 1 friend and both our mums

2014newme · 01/08/2017 23:11

@floggingmolly I don't think anyone has said they told everyone at work

Floggingmolly · 01/08/2017 23:12

Op says she hasn't told work yet. I just presumed she was planning on doing so? Maybe not.

Fiestylittleowl · 02/08/2017 08:10

I'm not at the IVF stage yet but I've started having infertility tests and I'm already struggling with who to tell. My best friend is the only person who knows and she is currently pregnant so I find it really awkward to talk to her about it. I have some appointments coming up so need some excuses to have the time off from work. My mum keeps dropping hints and mentioning babies so I really need to tell her...

Zigzag99 · 02/08/2017 10:42

I am a very private person but have told a friend at work, my manager and the HR person only because of needing time off work. I totally trust them all to keep it to themselves, which they have done.

Sometimes I just feel like telling everyone at work to stop them gossiping when I'm off for appointments, EC, ET but then if it doesn't work I don't want them to feel sorry for me and wonder if I'll try again. If it does work I don't want everyone knowing too early.

I have a 5 year old from successful ivf in 2011. I have never told anyone we conceived through ivf as I don't want people to treat him any differently, not that they probably would anyway but that's just me.

EMHW123 · 02/08/2017 14:32

I'm really open about it. I find it's so much easier to deal with when people know but I'm quite possibly more unique in that sense, everyone is so lovely about it when I've told them 😊
My DP is much more private but understands I need to chat about it.

Isn't a right or a wrong way for this. I think now ivf is so common and certainly nothing to be ashamed about at all. It's such a wonderful chance to have a chance of a baby when all other else has failed. ☺️

Good luck

Original poster

meadowlark3 · 02/08/2017 18:25

Thanks for all of the input. My manager was lovely and supportive when I had a miscarriage, but I somehow feel nervous and embarrassed. I always thought I would never do IVF as it seemed extreme but it very suddenly was our only option. I've also got a bit of a chatty office so absences will be noticed and I'm not eager to tell everyone why I'll be out, especially if multiple cycles are required.

OP posts:

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