Secondary infertility

[babs7051]

I know I a lucky to have one dc, but I am really struggling with the fact I won't have anymore. How do I accept this? Will there come a time when I don't run and cry every time someone announces a pregnancy? Every time my lo asks for a sibling?
Is there anything I can do to help me get over this? I don't want to feel jealous every time I see a pram!
All advise welcome

Have you thought about fostering (or maybe adopting ) then your little one will grow up in a house full of other dcs. My Dbro and sil ( childless in their forties) decided it was their only way of ever having a family and although were very reluctant for years (as it's obviously not 'your' children) find it immensely rewarding as they are really helping these DC who need a home for whatever reason.

I think sometimes it is human nature to not be happy with 'our lot' unfortunately. I know a family who had seven DC trying for a girl and they only ever wanted three DC but just kept going. I have a friend who has two lovely boys and always says she envies me as l have one of each. Diversely I often used think if my two ( very close in age) were both same sex they could be more like 'ready made mates' growing up as well as siblings. Others wish they had a much smaller gap for same reason and so on.

Thanks for the reply unfortunately my oh won't consider adoption, he was adopted himself and won't even think of it.
I'm not sure about fostering, I don't think I could hand the lo back if it was needed.

In fostering you can offer permanence to foster children once you are approved. We have fostered for 2 years (short term) and are now very soon expecting our own rainbow baby after 6.5 years of infertility. Although we are now taking a break from fostering while our own child is so young we will definitely go back to fostering when the time is right and would offer permanence to a foster child/ children if needed in their care plan and providing they are a good 'match' with our family.

No advice but I understand. We couldn't have birth children and adopted a little girl. Then tried to adopt again and in that five year process felt very sad and like something was missing. Our daughter desperately wanted a sibling and we wanted another child. We finally did adopt again but literally just got selected for our son months before we were going to say that's it. I remember that sadness, before we got chosen, so I empathise and wish you well. Did your OH have a hard time with his adopted family? Or is it the process he doesn't want to go through?

I'm in a similar situation. We have one son who is now a teenager. We really wanted another one but I had early menopause. Or did I? I had a lot of pain and eventually they found cysts and said it could have been endometriosis. I have found it easier now my son is a teenager as he meets up with friends on his own and is happy in his own company and plays with friends on the playstation. Has your child got cousins because they can have a good relationship with them? I think the opinion above about not being happy with our lot is a good point. And sometimes other peoples opinions can be unkind about only children. But it takes all sorts to make the world. Someone once said to me "its not fair on him being an only child". Rubbish - life isn't fair in lots of ways. I have been to counselling years ago about my past and all they say is basically " you have to forgive your parents and understand that they did their best". Well my son will have to accept that and do the same if he ever feels disgruntled that he is an only child. You have done your best. I don't know what to suggest about coping with the feelings when others are pregnant. It can be a horrible feeling I know. Maybe do some positive nice things for yourself?