Told to use DE after first failed IVF had bad eggs

[Lily35]

Does anyone have any advice or experience about having bad egg quality and being told DE is the best option?

Seems a bit drastic after one attempt. How old are you and how long have you been trying?

Nearly 4 years TTC, 1 m/c in 2015 and I'm 36....

I'm in shock ! Drastic seems an understatement x

Which clinic?
Some clinics are more pro DE than others because the success rates are better so CRGH refused to treat me with my own eggs where as Hammersmith successfully did
So I would get another opinion
Good luck it is worth it in the end
(3mc (naturally conceived) 1iui 3*ivf )

Yep ask for another opinion and look for a clinic that is specialised in IVF with poor responders (low AMH?)

Also don't hesitate to look a bit further afield. I know our clinics where I am are poor. It's worth looking further away (and take two weeks hols) before going for an ED

Do you have low amh?

Either way, 36 is pretty young to be considering donor eggs! They are thinking about their success rates and not you. I would look elsewhere. Can you try naturally too?

I was told at my first fertility appt aged 35 to not waste time with my own eggs and proceed straight to donor.

I fell apart, demanded a different consultant, went through 1 IUI & 2 IVF with my own eggs but never even got 1 normal fertilised egg. I took a break from fertility treatment for a couple of years & worked on finding my peace.

Long story very short I was referred back to the clinic at the end of 2015 for early menopause and had to have an op to remove my remaining tube in August last year, as part of that I was offered one last go at IVF using donor eggs.

I decided I had nothing to lose as the next step was treatment for menopause anyway... it worked! I still can't believe it, but 6 years after I came off the pill, I am now 12 weeks pg

Infertility is a long hard road that nearly broke me last time, it was soul destroying failing over & over - but this time has been so straightforward in comparison.

I'm glad we tried with my own eggs but I wish I'd thought properly about donor egg after the first failure, instead of dismissing it out of hand & putting myself & my husband through it, while constantly feeling like it was pointless because i knew in my heart of hearts the odds were not at all in my favour.

I tried everything medical & alternative, I still have a box full of random supplements that didn't work...

I guess what I'm saying is take some time to look at all the options and don't make any hasty decisions.

One thing I was surprised about was how protective I felt once the clinic rang to say that 5 had fertilised, they just felt like ours from that point on.

An amazing woman gave us 8 tiny individual cells, but it's me who is growing one of them into a baby. Also worth a look at epigenetics, reading about this was a game changer for me.

I hope this isn't too much info when you've just had such a horrible conversation, please feel free to pm me if you have any questions I can help with x

Thank you all for posting - serious food for thought here
And congrats Scarlett on your long awaited for BFP!
One thing I know after today's convo is that I know I WILL get there one day but yes it may take DE. But that I also need one more shot at it but maybe with a different clinic rather than mine.
My AMH is 20 which they consider normal range. Can't remember the numbers for FSH. It's also on normal range Hence the shock of this egg quality diagnosis x

My results from ivf are as follows (LP):
8 collected
6 mature
5 fertilised
1 of these fertilised abnormally, the other 4 made it to day 3. They told me one was good and the other 3 crap. Had 2 transferred.
Found out today the good one was also crap. So why did they go ahead with the transfer and put me through all that mind f@ck! This is what seems odd. Told one thing and then told another....

Sorry Helter - I'm at a NHS clinic in Manchester - Saint Mary's

Lily- your amh is fine. Even if it wasn't, as mine definitely wasn't at 34, I fail to see how they can write your eggs off as crap after one go at ivf

Also there is NO test available which says what your egg quality is like, so they are making complete assumptions...

Me too Chatty! I've come to conclusion to try own eggs again - I have to. But maybe at a different clinic if I can transfer my NHS round. Then who knows..... time to try a DE round if needed x

Can you try naturally as well?

Ps I was told my eggs were probably crap when I was 34 and had high fsh and low amh. I've been pregnant 3 times since and had 2 live births.

Yep we try naturally too - have done all the way through accept during the ivf cycle....
Had one pregnancy but it wasn't to be.
Congrats on your 2 babies, sorry about your loss though x

Im baffled as to why they are suggesting DE for you based on what you have posted. I'd be inclined to change clinic I think.

I do get it, I do think my egg quality is crap...but there are things to try, supplements, change is stims maybe isn't there? Things can be different next time surely??

Supplements yes- have you tried ubiquinol? Meant to be v good for improving egg quality.

That's just one of the many I'm taking at the moment. Giving myself 90 days on it

God this was what I would call a GOOD cycle. And AMH of 20 would be excellent.
My advice would be ubiquinol, vitamin D and a diet very low in sugar.
Have a look at this book on optimising egg quality.
It talks a lot about diet and supplements to help with fertility.
I think yu need to give it 3 months tonreally have the effects though.

Thanks - I've downloaded it. I'm on a shed load of vits. I'm determined to do this with OE or at least try.
I thought it was a good cycle as well but the egg quality at the end let me down. I've read a lot on it and sometimes this happens with people with normal blood results - and regular cycles, the eggs just aren't great.
It's really sad and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time. But time to look after myself now and try one more time before moving into DE.

Just to give you some hope. I am 37 and had success on my second cycle. First cycle LP- ended in a CP, only collected 7 eggs and had two embryos to transfer. AMH around 13.

Second cycle switched to SP, upped the medication, took Ubiquinol and extra vitamin D prior to second cycle (about 8 months), again only 7 eggs and two embryos but this time one stuck. I also had the endometrial scratch and embryo glue as well. The scratch is definitely worth thinking about, I had a friend with two successful IVF pregnancies recommend it to me.

Unfortunately the clinics don't seem to recommend anything until they have enough proof so a lot of the time you need to do your own research.

Good luck with your next cycle.

Thank you Winenight, congratulations on your successful cycle.
I got a second opinion today at a private clinic who are not prepared to give up on my OE yet so I am transferring funding to a new fresh clinic and doctor - and having the scratch as well :)
Here's to having some hope back....one of the best feelings x

That's good news Lily, if my clinic had suggested DE after one failed attempt I think I would have changed clinics too!

All the best with your cycle x