I've been aching for a baby for years, in fact DH and I talked about having a family fairly soon after we were together. We waited until last year to try (both 34) and had one miscarriage. Whilst in the queue for IVF, we fell again with an ectopic and I lost a tube. I feel a bit lost now. We still have an NHS go at IVF but the idea of it not working breaks my heart, as does the idea of it working and having another ectopic, another miscarriage, or something wrong with the baby. (I have a gut feeling that I'll need to have a late termination for medical reasons or have a deeply disabled baby.) I am sure that I would love the baby and we would sort out its care but I really can't imagine how as I'm drained from the past year and a half of failures. It seems that perhaps we're not meant to be parents and should stop trying. But if we don't use our IVF go now, I imagine I will always regret it.
I apologise if this is too much of a whinge as I'm well aware other women have been working at this much harder and much longer. I don't mean to minimise those struggles and in fact wish I could be as strong as those women, but it simply feels I'm not.