I'm 31, childless, a few failed IVF attempts with my DH(donor sperm), PCOS.

I have had a very stressful life, terrible upbringing. Things are good now though. All of my siblings have been able to have their children with no fertility issues. I've wanted to be a parent ever since I was quite young. It feels like the opportunity is escaping me and it's all I think about really, I feel aggrieved.

I don't think I can do IVF again, it's just so hard to get through and after my last cycle my ovaries don't feel quite right iyswim and it puts a great strain on your relationship. Plus I am still paying that off and I feel I would need to save for another cycle if i decided on this rather than getting out a loan, this will take years.

I just want to be a mum. And I am open to anything really.

I've looked into adoption, but I would only be happy with a closed adoption. Call me selfish but if I adopt I want them to be handed over and for us to get on with our lives(after all the legal and transition phase of course).

Fostering is an option and I have done this before just not with my DH, but this is a huge amount of work paperwork wise and attending courses and it feels like it's more of a lifestyle choice, of course this is about wanting to care for the child/children and that's number one, that's what I want really - just to care for someone and call them my own.

Surrogacy I don't think is an option as the potential child needs to be related to one of us and unfortunately I have a juvenile criminal record :(

It's hard socialising with people who have children or even when there are children around, how can you not dwell and be miserable? When you have PIL who really want GC, how can you not feel like a failure?

It seems like I have no options, hearing stories about abandoned children literally thrown away or worse gets me down so much. And there are millions of unwanted children/orphans in the world, why is it made so difficult for those of us wanting to help.