Sad and Annoyed. Rant!

[ForeverHopeful21]

TTC for 3 years. Had MC in March …which apparently I should feel lucky about because it shows that I can conceive?!!! WTF if I was that lucky I’d have a baby by now!!

My GP sent me for blood tests and I felt so happy that she was finally going to help me. Never heard anything back about the day 21 test results. I was booked in for an appointment with another GP to discuss an unrelated issue (I'm having surgery in 2 weeks), so I decided to ask about the results at the end of the appointment.
Very casually she said, oh yeah looks like you didn't ovulate. I was a little bit taken aback because with all other blood tests my GP has written to me, so I had assumed this one was fine seeing as no one bothered to contact me.
She then went on to say that the test isn't very reliable, especially as my cycles are between 28-33 days (which they knew before referring me for the test!).

The fact that we've been trying for 3 years suggests an issue but she wrote it off as being void because of my irregular cycles and told me not to worry about it. She asked if we were currently ttc, and I said not this month because of the surgery coming up. And she said, well it doesn't really matter then does it.
I’m so angry because yes it does matter!! We’ve been trying for 3 years! I’m so exhausted of having to battle to get anywhere with the GPs, it’s so tiring. I'm early 30's (but look a lot younger) and they always say how young I am and how much time I've got which is so frustrating because we've been trying for so long.

I’m on a waiting list to be seen by the fertility centre but my appointment is only at the end of September. I feel so sad and deflated today. It's going to reach the 4 year mark without anyone helping us and I'm beginning to give up hope

I think we go to the same gp. They said the same thing about my chemical pregnancy in march and so they wouldn't investigate for another 12 months...

Booked in private in a few weeks.

I haven't been ttc for 3 years... 15 months, so I can't even imagine how angry that would make me!!! I'm very sorry you've been through this.

Shout shit to your GP, and I mean shout shit. Complain about the appointment and lack of communication. Outline what you would like doing about it - a further appointment with a GP to discuss next steps.

It is utterly deflating, and it sounds rubbish how the GP has gone about telling you. You now have some more knowledge and whilst it is crap you need to wait for an appointment, you have an appointment. If you can, find out the secretary's name, and "nicely" hassle them for an earlier appointment. We did this. We kept on and on, and on some more, in a subtle, assertive but kind way. You may get it brought forward.

What does your partner think of it all?

Ah that sucks! What an arse of a GP.

I had a mc after ivf and all I heard was 'at least you know you can get pregnant!' Like that's some consolation prize.

Your GP sounds utterly unprofessional and doesn't seem to understand how shit and utterly devastating it is every month to be trying and get nowhere.

When we first went to our GP after actively trying (OPKs and SMEP) the for requisite 2 years (after not using contraception for 2 years before that) we were told try for another 6 months. Fortunately I'd reached the end of my rope and assertively asked him to refer us for fertility investigations while we were trying.

My advice to you is to grow a hid like a rhino and keep on at them. Keep going back, tell them you want a gynae referral for fertility investigations. Tell them you want. Sperm analysis done. Tell them that fobbing you off isn't good enough. Read the NHS NICE guidelines for infertility, make a list of their recommendations and shove that under the GPs nose. Change GP if you have to.

Be a pain in their arse. The squeakiest wheel gets the grease as they say. Be squeaky!!

And best of luck to you, because infertility sucks

My GP ballsed up big time too. After discussing my mc in the waiting room (in front of other patients), she told me to adopt! After one mc.

I complained GP did apologise in a letter though that came 6 weeks after my initial complaint. The practice manager also did call me but was very very cold and stand offish on the phone and gave no apology.

So unprofessional gits are everywhere unfortunately.

You have every right to be annoyed. I would definitely keep on at them until referred. As for telling you it doesn't matter, that is appalling. I hate the way fertility issues are treated by medical people and friends/family alike. People need to start seeing fertility issues as a genuine health issue.

My DP has low morphology and the GP told him just to keep trying. Apparently, a 35-yr-old woman and a 48-yr-old man who've been trying for 18 months just need to keep at it. Yeah right.

Thank you so much for the support and advice. I know we're all going through stuff ...otherwise we wouldn't be on here so I’m sorry to hear that some of you are dealing with the same insensitive medical staff that I am. And thank you for sharing your stories, I find it so comforting to know that I'm not alone.

Kourtney My DH is a very positive person and although was devastated when I had the MC, he's convinced that it'll 'all happen in good time'.

I’m going to have this surgery done and once recovered I’m going to continue the fight and as Gunty suggested, I’m going to be squeaky!
x

Sorry to hear your bad experience. Sadly this is all too common. I am 35, TTC for 2 years and still no luck. I went to see my local GP who had the the worst sympathetic touch. I mean, I wasn't expecting a counselling session there are then, however I did expect more than "it will happen for you, just make love twice a week". Anyone who is TTC knows that we just don't "make love" anymore!!!

Anyway, I decided to go private. Not ideal I know. But I couldn't handle the stress of waiting for appointments, dealing with delays etc etc. I wanted some control in the process and the only way I could see that happening is by paying private.

I will say though it's the best thing I did - the clinic I use (on Harley street) is so supportive and really look after me and my husband. I would definitely recommend it, assuming costs isn't an issue. It's not cheap.

I also had a miscarriage earlier this year. So cruel. To finally get pregnant and then to lose it, just felt like my world had collapsed.

When is the right age to think about IVF? I have conflicting advice - some say "it will happen, I'm still young"....some say "you really need to think about IVF now"...so confusing!