IVF - when things 'go wrong'

[notpastaagain]

I was due to ET today for a frozen embryo transfer and got the dreaded call at 12pm to say it hadn't survived the thaw process (thought it was too late in the day to be good news). Our last FET gave us a BFP, but miscarried at 7 weeks. I was devastated after the mc but today don't really know what to feel - there's even a slight feeling of relief because at least we definitely won't have to go through a mc again this time.

Has anybody else had the call to say your embryos didn't make it? Just wondering how other people cope when things don't go to plan.

[bluebird3]

Hi. Didn't want to read and not post. I had a fresh round of icsi in Feb. 1 good quality blast from 18 eggs and it didn't take. I was devastated. I've just tried to keep busy, cry when I need to, have duvet days when I want and then started planning for the next fresh round, which I'm currently in the middle of. So sorry it didn't work.

[OhWifey]

Yes I had two frozen embryos left over from the successful fresh transfer which resulted in my daughter. We obviously knew there was a risk but because we had two we were still quite confident. When they both failed to thaw I was bereft. It threw me into a deep grief which took a long time to recover from as we knew we wouldn't be doing any more fresh cycles. Those were my babies. I started therapy to help move on and that was an excellent thing to do. But actually the grief has only fully lifted now that I am pregnant following a total shock natural bfp.

Take time to grieve, and make sure you talk.

[AgainPlease]

It's utterly shit isn't it?

First round of IVF I got pregnant with two blasts left over to freeze. I went in to premature labour as the hospital missed signs of infection and cervix issues and gave birth to my son at 20 weeks. He obviously didn't make it.

Then for our frozen round, one didn't survive the thaw and the other one didn't take.

All we could do is grieve and start planning for another fresh cycle which resulted in an mmc, but currently 11 weeks pregnant from FET after that.

[notpastaagain]

So sorry to hear about your loss, AgainPlease. Sending good wishes and positive thoughts to you for this pregnancy - and good luck for the 12 weeks scan, if you haven't already had it. Also, good luck bluebird3 for this cycle and thanks for your kind words.

OhWifey, we were exactly the same: fresh cycle gave us our daughter but then our first FET ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks and then second FET the embryo didn't survive the thaw.

It's such a strange feeling getting your body to the point where it is as receptive as it can be to the embryo to then be told there isn't now an embryo to try with. I'm feeling a little more pragmatic about it now though. My period has already been and gone (didn't realise it would happen so soon after stopping the drugs) which, for some reason, helps. My thoughts have been all over the place - part of me is even relieved about not having to go through a miscarriage again. There are so many things that can go wrong during IVF, it feels like a lottery or like you're spending months just jumping through so many hoops along the way. I think it will be one more fresh cycle for us, then call it a day, as I'm definitely finding it more of a struggle to cope with the losses.

Good luck to everyone else who's in the middle of it all.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Our dd 11wks today was a fet from our 3rd cycle - was our 5th attempt at ivf and finally worked

4th was also a fet tho defrosted well and implanted, the cycle failed

As hard as it is when a fet dissolves /isn't viable - I was told that if the embryo doesn't survive the defrosting process that it wouldn't have implanted either - tho Obv no way of finding this out

Many clinics now believe it's better to freeze all collected and then implant following month to give body a chance to recover from treatment and ec

And also as above if embryo survives defrosting means it's a strong contender