First IVF failed and talked to adopt

[1975gomezfernandez]

Hi All,

Today I feel very sad and without hope. Following my first IVF my 3 embryos didn't grow more than 3 cells and they all arrested.
I am almost 42 (in Aug) and my doctor told me that potentially all my eggs are poor and therefore shouldn't spend any money and try the donor or adoption route.
I married when I was 39 but wasn't ready to become a mum until last year. We tried naturally but it didn't work. I feel devastated that I could never be a mum with my own eggs.
My husband is 35 and I feel that he doesn't deserve not to become a dad.
Guilt of not doing it earlier is the worst feeling.

I am looking for some positive stories. I am currently at the lister and thinking of switching for a second IVF. I am scared of the outcome as I am not sure if my eggs will make it past the second day this time.

Thank you!

You just need to discuss it with your husband. You could always agree to have just one more go with your own eggs if you really, really want to give that a try. Do all the supplements, acupuncture etc to feel like you've given it your absolute best shot.

When it comes to donor eggs, your husband would still be the biological parent and you'd get to experience the pregnancy and delivering the baby... However, I understand that the whole scenario has come as a shock and you probably aren't ready for it.

In terms of feel guilt, have you done any counselling? Clinics tend to offer that and it might be an idea to help you work through your feelings.