This summarises it pretty well
www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/The-psychological-impact-of-infertility-and-its-treatment
"One study of 200 couples seen consecutively at a fertility clinic, for example, found that half of the women and 15% of the men said that infertility was the most upsetting experience of their lives. Another study of 488 American women who filled out a standard psychological questionnaire before undergoing a stress reduction program concluded that women with infertility felt as anxious or depressed as those diagnosed with cancer, hypertension, or recovering from a heart attack"
We are just existing, really, not living. Life is just what happens between Drs appointments and scans. I don't really see my friends much as they all have kids and we don't really have a role in their lives as their social lives (understandably) revolve around their mum friends. And when I do see friends I don't have anything to talk about, as the only thing going on in our life is work and fertility treatment. All our money and energy goes on trying to have a baby. At least if we'd been on holiday at some point in the last 2 years we'd have definitely ended up with a holiday! I just feel really very sad and withdrawn - everyone else's lives are moving forward and we're just treading water.
The idea that it's possible to make a baby with some sex is such a quaint and almost laughable concept! The only time we've ever been able to be in with a chance of conceiving is when we've had our two embryo transfers. Ironically this month I've had the IUD out so given we're doing ovulation induction we could hypothetically try naturally this month - except that we're doing endometrial biopsies so can't try, and would be too risky to TTC naturally if I'm ovulating over 6 eggs at once.
My coping strategies aren't that helpful - I focus my energies into trying to become as informed as I can, out of desperation in the hope my research will throw up something useful. So all my mind space is focused on infertility.
I have chronic pain from a spinal injury so take very strong opioid pain meds, plus I have epilepsy, so as I can't drown my sorrows in wine, I self medicate with chocolate.
Except when we start a FET cycle I have to give up chocolate because there's no point taking a higher dose of metformin to reduce the risk of miscarriage related to PCOS, if I then eat a load of sugar!!